


Collecting Complications

by denna5



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Brief Gore, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of past brainwashing, More tags later, Multi, Nightmares, OT5, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2018-09-11 21:39:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9033422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denna5/pseuds/denna5
Summary: Life can be a bit complicated and no one knows this better than Clint Barton who has collected scars throughout his life and has started collecting people as well. Starts as established Clint/Steve Clint/Natasha and will slow build to an OT5. Clint POVGifts are given and Clint adjusts to having a roommate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cutthroatfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatfics/gifts).



> So this is a story that started out as one thing and kind of mutated into a monster but hopefully people will like it. Planning on updating weekly since I have a lot already written. 
> 
> Also this is for Cutthroatbitchcult who is awesome. Happy Birthday( though it is some hours early) and hope you like the start.

Scars are something Clint has had most of his life. His skin is littered with them, some from the normal bumps and bruises of childhood, others from the hits and hurts that were a normal part of his childhood, and others that came later. The life he has led has left marks, only some of which have stayed on his skin. Some scars have faded and others have not and Clint has made his peace with most of them. He can’t really change them at this point, he can cover them up but they are still there, he can still feel them and so he doesn’t brother hiding them most of the time. Still, it is something else to show them to someone else and he is well aware of the various marks on his body as he takes his clothes off in front of Steve, very aware how much cleaner Steve’s skin looks to his own, how unmarked it is.

Steve is staring at Clint now, eyes moving over every inch of Clint and it makes something in Clint squirm. Clint feels exposed now, exposed in more ways than just his nudity, and he hasn’t felt this way since the first time he was this bare was  with Nat. She had stared as well, looked over him, and it had filled him with much the same feeling as he has now, excitement and nervousness, anticipation and worry. Steve is looking at his scars, his marks, seeing just what life has done to Clint, how it has broken him, how weak he has been at times.  Steve is seeing Clint now, seeing him in a way few people have before and Clint expects some sort of comment, for Steve to say something and he does but it isn’t what Clint expects.

“Beautiful, just beautiful. “

He says this and reaches a hand out, brushes a finger over a mark on Clint’s shoulder, two small little lines, almost like welts.  It is one of his oldest scars, came from his dad, from the metal end of a belt. Beautiful is not exactly the word Clint would use for these scars, for him and he lets out a little snort of laughter.  Steve tilts his head at him a bit, fingers rubbing against the marks softly.

“Something funny, Clint?”

There is just a bit of curiosity in Steve’s, like he really wants to know why Clint is laughing. It is something Clint has been getting used to, the fact that Steve wants to know what Clint is thinking, not to hurt him or to use it against him, but just because. There are so very people he has trusted much through out the years, Natasha being one of the few exceptions, but Clint trusts Steve.  It is taking some time to get  used to but Clint likes it and he answers now.

“Just beautiful really isn’t the word I would use to describe all this. Too marked up to be beautiful.”

Now Steve gives a little snort now, is still rubbing the marks softly.

“Just cause something is scarred doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful. All these prove is that you have survived.  I don’t mind them and the only reason I am not as marked up as you is because of the serum.”

That is something Clint hadn’t thought about, just saw how smooth and perfect Steve’s bare skin was, compared it to his own. Steve has been hurt before, there is no way he hasn’t, the proof just doesn’t last on his skin like  it does on Clint’s and it is something to think about.

“Do you have any scars then? Any from before?”

This is better, ask Steve about his scars, get the focus away from Clint so that it feels a bit easier. If Steve knows what Clint is doing, he doesn’t say anything, moves his fingers away from Clint’s shoulder and holds his palm up now and Clint can see a faint white line on it, not very long, maybe an inch or two, towards the bottom of it, close to Steve’s wrist.  Clint brings a finger to it, touches it like Steve did his and asks a question.

“How did you get that? Looks like it may have been a scratch.”

A scratch or maybe a cut, that is what it looks like and Steve gives a nod now.

“Yep, cat scratch actually. There was a stray cat near our building, mean sometimes and it got me once. I wasn’t the only one wounded by him and at least it was just my hand, Bucky got one on his jaw when he picked him up once.”

There is just a flash of something in his eyes when he says Bucky’s name, a look Clint has seen before, fondness and sadness and Clint thinks maybe he is seeing Steve’s scars when he sees that look.  He does the only thing he can think of to ease it, leans forward and place a kiss on the scar before speaking.

“I got a scratch mark too, right here.”

Clint moves his hand to his own body now, draws Steve’s attention to where his right arm and shoulder meet, to the spot where three long scratch marks lay.  Steve puts a finger there, traces over them, and raises a brow.

“Something tells me those didn’t come from a stray cat, unless it was one the size of a lion.”

Clint’s lips turn up in a grin now and he gives a shrug.

“I guess you could say it was the size of a lion since it was one but I suppose he wasn’t really a stray since he belonged to the circus. He just caught me off guard once when I was helping the trainer, it was like a love tap really but still drew blood.  Makes an interesting story if I embellish it a bit. “

Steve shakes his head now, a bit of amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I’m sure it does. You can tell me the embellished version later if you want. I think right now, there are other things to talk about, other things to do.”

There is a grin and then Steve leans closer, brushes lips against the marks, settles hands against Clint’s arms.  They grip Clint’s arms firmly but not too  tight, just a gentle pressure that shows how strong Steve is but isn’t threatening.  Steve’s lips soon leave the marks and go to Clint’s lips, claiming them.  It is so very easy to return Steve’s kiss, to lean into him more, to let him after a few moments push him towards the bed. He finds himself on it, Steve on top of him, and there is just something about being pinned under the man like this that makes Clint just a little breathless.

It isn’t the first time he has been under Steve, they spar together and Clint finds himself on his back quite often but not as many times as most people think but this is different, there is different intent behind it than when they spar.  There is still a playfulness, Steve smiling at him as he sits on top,  legs pinning Clint’s own to the bed, but there is an intense look in Steve’s eyes, want and need and Clint isn’t sure he has ever been looked at quite that way.  Steve is open in a way that Natasha isn’t, can’t  be, and it is different, almost scares Clint that he can see just how much Steve wants him right now but it is nice at the same time.

“I really do mean it, you are beautiful. All of this is beautiful, just shows how strong you are.”

Steve says this, in between kisses and his hands are exploring again, tracing some of the scars that are scattered across Clint’s skin. Clint doesn’t mind the touch, doesn’t flinch away from any of it until Steve’s hand drifts lower, towards Clint’s left hip, towards a curved scar there, one that looks older than it really..  Clint doesn’t like that one touched, hasn’t been able to even let Nat touch it that much and it is the same for Steve now, Clint squirming away just a bit.  It is a wound still a bit too fresh, one that might always sting just a little too much, and he knows he needs to distract Steve from it, doesn’t want it to ruin this. He will tell Steve about it just like he told Natasha, later when Steve asks, but not tonight.  He shifts a bit, leans up and places a kiss against Steve’s  skin,  in the spot on his throat right below the curve of his jaw. It is a sensitive spot, Clint knows this from their various touching and it does just what Clint wants it to, makes Steve shiver and let out a little moan.

“I like when you make that sound. Want to hear it again.”

Clint kisses there again, gets another soft moan and he knows that Steve is distracted from that scar for now.

The rest of the night is a pleasant blur, touches and kisses, and it feels so good when Steve pushes into him for the first time. It feels good for Steve too, Clint can tell by the way his fingers tighten on Clint’s hips, how his eyes slide shut for just a moment before opening and looking at Clint, watching him. It is all so good, even the little mistakes, Steve accidently  bumping Clint’s nose when he leans in for a kiss, Clint running hands down Steve’s lower back only to find that spot is a bit ticklish and Steve jerking a bit at the touch.  It is good and when it is over, just laying next to Steve is good too, the feel of arms around him nice and Clint drifts off to sleep easily.

::::::::::::::::

Clint wakes the next morning and Steve is a bit different to wake up next to than Natasha is but it isn’t a bad different, just different.  Natasha always starts out cuddled up next to Clint at the beginning of the night and steadily moves away during sleep, usually taking the blankets with her, Steve by contrast doesn’t steal the blankets and his arm is wrapped securely around Clint. He starts to wake up a bit when Clint shifts, pulls him even closer to him.

“Don’t move. You’re warm.”

Steve snuggles into him just a bit more as he says this, as if trying to steal Clint’s warmth and it feels nice. Clint just lays there for a bit, lets Steve snuggle him, but he can’t go back to sleep.  His body is fully awake now and certain needs are digging into his enjoyment of cuddle time. He starts to shift again so he can get out of bed and Steve just holds him a bit tighter.

“I really need to get up.”

“No, you don’t.”

Steve says this against Clint’s hair and it is really tempting to agree with him but he really has to pee. He leans closer to Steve for just a moment before brushing a kiss against  his neck and then speaking.

“If I don’t get up soon, I’ll wet the bed and that will really put a damper on today.”

Steve sighs but lets him up, says something about taking a shower when Clint is done and wanting coffee. Clint just walks to the door that connects to that bathroom and does his business, brushes his teeth and everything so Steve doesn’t have to put up with more morning breath, and steps back into the bedroom for a moment. Steve is still in bed and Clint smiles at the sight of him there, on the side of the bed Clint was on earlier, head on the pillow,  covers bunched around him and eyes half closed like he can’t decide if he wants to try to go to  back to sleep or not. Clint walks closer to the bed, leans down, and brushes a kiss against his lips.

“I do have a clean towel in there for once, in the cabinet next to the sink, you’re welcome to it. I’ll get coffee started.”

Steve just gives him a  nod and another kiss and then Clint pulls on a pair of boxers and leaves the room, closes the door again so that if Steve decides to sleep a bit more he can, doesn’t have to worry about the light or the noise. In fact there is already a little bit of light coming from the kitchen and Clint knows that they didn’t leave any of the lights on last night. It would be worrying except Clint is pretty sure he knows who it is. Still, he grabs his bow from near the doorway anyway because he knows that he will get teased if he walks into a situation that could be dangerous without a weapon and makes his way to the kitchen but he doesn’t hold the bow out, has it down by his side as he enters the kitchen.

“You know you really should have that raised when you entered the doorway.”

Natasha says this from where she sits at the table, posture relaxed, leaning forward just a bit, elbows on the table, a box in front of her.  It isn’t the first time she has appeared in his apartment when he wasn’t quite expecting her, not even the first time  she has appeared when he has had sex the night before and so he just shrugs and sets the bow down and moves towards his coffee pot.

“I can get it up fast.”

“You really shouldn’t say that when you’re dressed like that, might think you’re talking about something other than your bow.”

Natasha says this and Clint just shakes his head a bit.

“And everyone thinks I’m the one that makes bad jokes.  “

Nat just raises a brow a brow at him as he gets  to the coffee pot and starts pouring grounds in, not really bothering with measuring.

“You set yourself up for it.”

“Yes I did. Thought you were going on a mission today?”

He asks now, starts the coffee pot and turns and looks at her. Natasha just gives a little nod and a shrug of her shoulders.

“I am but we aren’t heading out till later, thought I would stop by. How was your date last night?”

Clint answers as the shower can be heard turning on.

“It went well.”

“I can tell. Stayed the night even, like a gentleman. Things must be getting pretty serious, you going to keep this one around for a while, go steady?  ”

There is a hint of teasing in her voice  and  a little smile on her face but there is just a bit of tension in her shoulders.  Most people wouldn’t notice it but most people don’t know her like Clint does.  He sits down beside her now, scoots his chair closer to hers, and makes sure he is looking at her as he speaks.

“You and I are still going to be you and me if that is what you are asking. Steve understands about us.”

He says this, knows that it is what she is asking even if it isn’t the whole question.  This is something they have gone through before, not for a while but Clint has dated people since he and Nat became him and Nat and it hasn’t really gone that smoothly.  He has never hidden what he has with her but it isn’t always easy for people to understand.  They are complicated, not quite a romance, they don’t do dates or declarations of love but they do have physicality and intimacy, do trust each other over most others and they don’t plan on giving each other up and most people don’t want to deal with that. Steve has been different though, has understood and hasn’t asked Clint to stop what he and Tasha have. Clint hadn’t been sure why Steve had been so ok with all of this until they had a talk about his past, about Bucky and Peggy and Clint knows now that Steve can accept his and Nat’s complicated because he has had his own.  It isn’t his story to tell so he won’t tell Natasha about it but he will reassure her if she needs it.  Right now, he can see just a little tension ease out of her, the smile becoming a bit more real and she shakes her head just a bit.

“Wasn’t exactly what I was asking but that is good to know. Just wanted to know how you’re doing, if you’re enjoying yourself with him.”

She says this and he gives her a little nod, leans a bit closer to her so that their shoulders brush.

“I am. I like him, a lot actually, and for some reason, he likes me.”

“You do have your bright spots every once in a while.”

Natasha says this  and bumps his shoulder with her own, just a little brush of contact like he did before and there is a little bit of a grin on her face and things are a bit more relaxed now. She opens up the box in front of her now.

“Brought you boys some breakfast since who knows if you have anything breakfast like in here.”

It is the truth, Clint usually has some kind of food in his apartment but it is not always things that can be put together to make a meal and Natasha knows him well enough to know this and has brought a box full of pastries, lots of different kinds.  He thanks her and grabs one and as he takes a bite they both hear the shower stop and Nat gives him a little smile and gets up out of her chair now.

“I got to head out, tell Rogers I said hi.”

He stops her for just a moment, fingers brushing her wrist but not grabbing it.

“You know you could stay a few minutes more, tell him hi yourself.”

He says this, puts his pastry down. She just shakes her head and then leans into him just a bit, brushes a kiss against his lips.

“Not right now. I’ll get a hold of you when I can, will be gone a bit, a couple weeks, maybe more, maybe less.  Take care, ok?“

She says this and Clint gives a nod. It is up to her how much time she spends with Steve and Clint won’t push her into it, not right now.  She brushes a kiss against his forehead and then leaves as quietly as she came and Clint just gets up as well now, grabs his pastry and takes another bite as he gets Steve some coffee ready.

It only takes a few more moments before Clint is finishing up the pastry and  hears foot steps coming and soon enough Steve is entering the kitchen,  wearing the sweats he brought over last night and no shirt and Clint give shim a smile and walks forward with the coffee cup, hands it to him. Steve gives a thanks as he takes the coffee cup and then leans forward for a kiss which Clint has no problem with returning. They pull apart after a moment and Clint gestures towards the table now.

“There’s some food, if you want it.”

Steve’s eyes light up just a bit at the sight of the box of pastries but there is also just a bit of confusion on his face as well as he looks them over.

“When did you go and get these?”

“I didn’t. Nat brought them by, I promise they’re safe, she hasn’t poisoned me in years.”  


There is a bit of shock on Steve’s face for just a moment at Clint’s words till it goes away, Steve probably dismissing the words as a joke and Clint isn’t going to talk about Nat’s early years right now so he doesn’t correct the assumption. Besides the poisoning wasn’t really malicious and at this point it kind of is a joke so Clint just simply sits down at the table again as Steve selects a pastry.

“She wasn’t here long, was she?”

He asks now and Clint just shakes his head

“She just popped in before her mission, couldn’t stay long. She says hi.”

Steve gives a little nod of acknowledgement but doesn’t say anything, just takes a bite of a pastry and sits down as well. After just a few moments Steve  asks a question as he starts on another pastry.

“You have any plans for the day?”

“Might train a bit later but I think for the next couple of hours I might just laze around the apartment. You? ”

He asks now and Steve gives him a little smile that is relaxed and content before he speaks.

“Lazing around sounds good, if you don’t mind more of  my company.”

There is something a bit hopeful in his voice and it still amazes Clint that Captain America wants to spend time with him and he just gives a little shrug, puts a little bit of teasing in his voice.

“I think I could put up with you for a bit longer today.”

He leans forward just a bit when he says this, presses a kiss against Steve’s lip and he can feel him smile.  It should be a good morning, is starting out very well and Clint is looking forward to the rest of the day.

::::::::::::::::


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit more, going ahead and posting it now since I just sort of felt like it. Hope you enjoy and comments would be awesome.

::::::::::::::::

The next week passes in a bit of pleasant blur for the most part, a lot of time spent with Steve and it is thrilling in a way to have something so new, to have this new aspect to their relationship. There is something so exciting about finding out what touches Steve enjoys, finding out what little noises Clint can pull out of him, and getting to know Steve in this way, letting Steve know him like this.  All the kissing and the touching is nice but Clint also enjoys the dates they go on, exploring things with Steve who still feels so out of place so often. Clint isn’t sure if he is the best one to guide Steve through his adjustment period but Steve wants him by his side and Clint isn’t going to argue with him. By Steve’s side is just where Clint is right now, curled up next to him on the couch as he flips through the channels trying to find something to watch. There isn’t too much on but there is something that catches Clint’s eyes and he can hear Steve’s groan as he stops at it, smiles just a bit.

“Do you really want to watch this?”

Steve asks, looks at Clint with just a bit of disbelief in his eyes. Clint just smiles innocently as he answers.

“It looks interesting, probably has a lot of information I might not  know, might answer some questions I have.”

Clint has actually already watched this once before, a while ago with Natasha. It was just a few days after Steve had woken up, most of SHIELD hearing just what happened and the public not quite knowing yet that Captain America was found but there were rumors.  They had been at Natasha’s place that time, spending a bit of time together before Clint had to go back to the base with the tesseract and that had been on one of the channels.   They had watched it out of a sense of curiosity for Natasha and nostalgia for Clint, both adding comments here and there,  and it hadn’t been too bad though Clint had only paid about half attention to it, the other half focused on Nat. That was a while ago now and Captain America is not so much of a historical ideal and comic book hero anymore but a real person sitting on Clint’s couch staring at him with annoyance and disbelief.

“If you have questions , I’m right here, you can just ask me. We don’t have to watch a documentary  about my life. Who knows what they got wrong.”

Steve says this and Clint lets his smile grow just a little bit more.

“You would know what they got wrong. It could be fun, you picking it apart, telling me just what really happened. What do you say we watch, I can order us some pizza?”

“You would probably order pizza anyway.”

Steve says this but Clint can tell he is just a bit curious about it now and after just a moment he gives a sigh.

“Alright, let’s watch it but don’t be surprised if I end up yelling, also I want cheese sticks.”

Clint gives a grin now, calls in the pizza order and settles in to watch _Stars, Stripes, and a Shield, the Life of Captain America_  with Captain America, should be an interesting evening.

The documentary is pretty standard, gives a brief overview of Steve’s life before the serum and then jumps straight into his time as Captain America, goes over some of his impact, and then focuses on his death  and Clint pays even less actual attention to it this time than he did the last. Steve’s commentary is much more interesting than what is being said on the tv and even after the pizza arrives and they start to eat, Steve keeps up his comments.

“They barely talked about Erskine, just mentioned him making the serum and then his death. He was the one who gave me the chance, supported me during that week of boot camp. Hell, they barely mention Peggy either and she trained me during that week. They seem to be talking about Bucky and the commandos a little bit more but they are still painting it like I did most of the missions on my own. I had a team, damn it.”

 A lot of the comments are like that, Steve talking about the others who helped him along the way and Clint knows that he must miss them all something fierce.  There are very few of them still around and Steve has talked about visiting Peggy but Clint can still hear the loneliness in his voice every once in a while.  From what Steve has said and from what Clint has picked up, he had hoped to have had a life with her once and it can’t be easy knowing that he lost that, that she had a full life without him.  Clint does what he can to help but he isn’t sure if he is everything Steve needs. For now, he just gives him a little smile.

“I know about your team, I used to have the comics and everything, a few action figures.  Had a  Buckybear when I was little even.”

Clint had loved that bear and sometimes he wishes he still had it but it got lost in one of the moves in-between foster homes.  Steve shakes his head just a bit now at the mention of the Bucky bears.

“Still can’t believe that is a thing. Not sure how Bucky would have felt about that but they are cute.”

There is a hint of softness in his voice at the word Bucky again and Clint decides it is time for a distraction again.

“They have one of you too, Cap America bears, come with a little shield and everything. Been thinking of getting you one.”

He actually has one bookmarked and ready to buy just hasn’t ordered it yet, wants to wait a bit. Will probably order it soon and give it to Steve first time one of them does something stupid.  For now, he just watches as Steve’s face filters between a sort of amusement and annoyance .

“If you do, I’ll get you a hawkeye one, they can lay together. “

“Don’t think they make those but if they do, I would love one. It can go with my mug.”

He has a Hawkeye mug, has the whole set of avengers mugs actually and Nat had teased him a bit about it but was just glad he replaced some of the old ones.  He always gives her the Black Widow one and Steve the Captain America one because it amuses him a bit.

“If I can find one, I’ll get it for you. Do you want to watch the rest of this or can I change it?”

Steve says this now, is gesturing to the remote. It is winding down a bit now, getting closer to the end of the war, to Bucky’s death and Steve going into the ice and Clint isn’t going to make Steve think about all of that right now so he  just gives a nod.  Steve changes the channel, finds some cartoons and they watch that before they get distracted.

It is still a bit new, touching each other more but Clint really likes it, likes how Steve’s hands feel against him.  The man has good hands, strong hands, but gentle fingers and Clint sometimes wonders how much of that comes from Steve drawing.  He likes the way Steve touches his skin, the way his finger traces over the marks there. The only one he stops him doing that for is the one on his hip and he is sure that Steve has noticed but he hasn’t asked about it yet. Clint will tell him soon, knows he needs to tell him, but he is still dealing with it himself so he is going to wait till Steve asks.  He doesn’t ask tonight and Clint can focus on how good this feels.

They trade  kisses and touches for a while,  not full sex, not tonight but Clint wraps his fingers around Steve and Steve does the same for him. It is good, the way Steve’s fingers glide over him, the way they grip, and Clint makes sure it is good for Steve too. They don’t make it to the bed tonight but at least they don’t make too much of mess of the living room. They clean up together , trade a few more kisses and talk a bit more and then Steve is leaving, promises to talk to Clint sometime tomorrow.  Clint  goes to bed just a little bit after that, has some range time scheduled at SHIELD in early afternoon and he should try to get some sleep.

Sleep hasn’t been easy since New York.  The first few nights after he barely slept, wouldn’t lay down with Natasha for more than a few minutes at a time, would find an excuse to leave the bed and trying to sleep by himself lead to nothing but nightmares. She finally put an end to that by crawling into his bed about two weeks after everything, telling him that her knife was close by if she needed it, and telling him she wouldn’t let him leave the bed till he at least closed his eyes for a while.  It wasn’t easy falling asleep that night but he did manage it for a little bit with Natasha by his side though it wasn’t more than a couple of hours before the nightmares started.  Natasha was there when he woke up screaming,  calmed him down, and she didn’t get hurt and that was enough reassurance for Clint.  It became easier to sleep after that, still not as easy as it used to be, but when Nat was with him,  he could fall asleep and after a while her presence started keeping the nightmares at bay.  The nights that  Steve has slept with him have done much the same but tonight neither of them are here and he just hopes the nightmares aren’t too bad if they come tonight.

The nightmare comes and it is familiar one, one that he has experienced in his sleep before, experienced while awake as well.  It isn’t just a nightmare but a memory as well and that makes it even more terrifying.  It is a little different than what he remembers, the knife just a little longer, Loki’s breath against his skin just a little warmer,  the pain just a little  sharper, and the blood just a little redder.  Loki doesn’t stop above his hip this time, keeps trailing the knife upwards, more red staining his skin all along his torso.  The knife is at his chest now and his heart is beating so fast, skin sticky, breath shallow, and he should be pushing the knife away, should be fighting but he can’t.  Clint just sits there as Loki carves into his chest, a swirl and loop right  over his heart.

“This is mine now, no other shall ever have it.”

With those words, Loki digs the knife deeper and Clint can feel every cut, feels his heart being carved out of his chest, till he wakes screaming from the pain that isn’t really there. His heart is beating quickly, the sound loud in the quiet of the room, proof enough it was a dream but he still finds himself looking down,  looking for blood and a hole that isn’t there.  There is no fresh blood and the marks are old and familiar, no new marks but his heart is still pounding and it is hard to catch his breath.  He makes himself get up now and heads to the bathroom.

Clint turns the water on, warm not cold like most would do, splash his face a few times, takes a few deep breathes. He looks in the mirror now, sees  the usual shade of his eyes and not the ice blue Loki placed on them and he sees the scar that started his nightmare.  He looks at it now, brings fingers towards it, but he can’t get himself to touch it right now.  It is easier to look at it now than it had been  the night of New York letting Tasha see it that first time, telling her about it, how Loki had carved into his skin and when she had reached a hand forward to touch,  she had only been able to barely brush fingers against it before he was moving away.  She hasn’t tried to touch it much since then and though they have talked about it, it is still something Clint hates seeing. Sometimes he thinks about getting it covered somehow but he isn’t sure how or with what and so he just ignores it for the most part.  He looks at it for just a moment longer before he makes himself look away, heads out of the bathroom.

Clint ends up settling on the couch, not ready to be back in his bed, and he turns the tv back on for a bit.  He finds a bad looking tv movie and lays down, pulls the purple blanket that he keeps on the back of the couch over him. He doesn’t use it all that often, usually Nat is the one who uses it, she likes having something warm to drape over her when she watches tv, and it makes him think of her. The couch pillow he is laying his head down on smells a bit like Steve from when he leaned against it earlier and it is nice having a reminder of him right now as well.  After a bit, he manages to drift back to sleep for a few hours and it is enough to get him through his shooting session  and then therapy afterwards and it is a sign things are getting better.

::::::::::::::::


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit more and in this chapter there is Natasha, pedicures, and smut. Hope you enjoy.

::::::::::::::::

Natasha’s mission ends up lasting about three and a half  weeks and which is not the longest she has had but Clint is still relieved when she shows back up late at night, letting herself in as always, away bag in hand.  The mission must have been a tiring one in some ways since she came here instead of heading to her place after her briefing.  Clint doesn’t say anything, just gives her a nod, and makes room on the couch where he has been parked for a while watching late night tv because he can’t sleep.  She just puts her bag down and makes her way to the couch.

“Wasn’t sure I would find you alone.”

Her voice is tired with these words and she sort of sinks down onto the couch instead of sitting. She lays her head and shoulders on the left arm rest and the rest of her sprawls out, legs and feet settling in Clint’s lap.  Clint works on removing her boots as he speaks.

“Steve is doing some training with  Rumlow’s strike  team tomorrow, has to wake up super early for it so no sleep over tonight. Made it sort of a lonely night till now but it does mean I get to sleep in tomorrow.”

Clint has nothing tomorrow, schedule still pretty light because of Loki and he figures he might as well take advantage and at least try to sleep late while he can.

“Sleeping in sounds good, think I might join you.”

Natasha says this with a smile on her face and she pokes him with her now bare toes.  Clint looks down at her feet and the polish on her toes is a tiny bit chipped, the polish she had on them from before this last mission and  he runs a finger along her toes now.

“We can sleep in, , watch tv, can even redo your toes if you want.”

 

He trails a finger down the bottom of her left big toe now and her foot squirms just a bit but she doesn’t move it away.

“Rogers see your stash of nail polish yet or did you move it?”

Clint gives a little shrug before answering the question.

“Haven’t moved it, still where it was last time and if Steve has seen it, he hasn’t said anything about it. Besides, it isn’t mine, you just keep it here for some reason.”

This is true enough, Nat brought over the shoe box of nail polish one day and never took it back, has even added to it since then. Clint doesn’t really mind it being here, it is nice having little touches of Natasha in his apartment, the box of nail polish, one of her hair brushes,  the blanket on the couch and he probably won’t ever get rid of them.  Natasha just gives a shrug of her own.

“It is easier to have it here, can usually find it even in this mess you call an apartment since you keep it in the same spot.”

Her voices is a little teasing right now and it is  a familiar topic. Clint’s space is sometimes a bit messy, things spread out everywhere while Natasha tends to keep hers fairly clean even if she does have blankets everywhere.  He just gives his usual defense of it right now.

“I have told you before, it is organized chaos .”

“Organized chaos is just another word for mess. You should find something better to watch.”

She says this, gestures at the tv.  It is a realty show, one of the competition   ones that Clint sometimes enjoys but that Tasha is not very fond of. She teases him about it sometimes but he knows she watches soaps sometimes so she has no room to judge.  Still he grabs the remote and changes it, finds an old movie that shouldn’t be too bad. They sit there and watch, conversation filtering in and out till Clint feels like he could probably sleep and looking over at Nat tells him that she probably could too.

“Bed sound good?’

She gives a little nod and moves her feet. They get up now and make their way to the bathroom and as they pass through the bedroom Clint is pretty sure Natasha notices the little things that are there now that weren’t before. There is a sketchpad and pencils on the nightstand, a jacket that isn’t Clint’s size hanging on the closet door knob, and in the bathroom there is an extra tooth brush that isn’t his or Nat’s.  They are all little signs of Steve scattered throughout and Clint knows that she noticed them but she doesn’t say anything right now, simply goes about getting ready for bed.  

She finishes in the bathroom before he does and when he walks into the bedroom, she is already under the covers, clothes on the floor.  He strips off his own and climbs in right beside her. It only takes a moment for Tasha to rearrange herself so that she is close to Clint, head resting on his chest, body pressed against his, skin to skin contact.  It more than likely won’t lead to anything other than snuggling together but Clint is fine with that.  He thinks sometimes that they both need this and it is nice having it. It doesn’t take long before Natasha drifts off and Clint follows her just a little bit after that.

They sleep in late the next morning, Clint waking up when Natasha gets up out of bed and puts the blanket on top of him. She had stolen most of it through the night like she usually does but he smiles at her giving it back but doesn’t get up quite yet.  He can hear the sound of the shower running after a few moments and he just lays there with his eyes closed till it turns off. He opens his eyes when he hears Tasha’s voice.

“You should shower, I’ll make the coffee and then we can figure out what to do after.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He says this with a little nod and she bends down and gives him a little pat on the cheek before she leaves the room. He gets showered quickly, puts on a pair of boxers and sweat pants and makes his way to the kitchen. Natasha is already there, cups out and pouring coffee into each one. Clint comes over and brushes a kiss on her cheek as he takes his coffee.

“I can make us some breakfast if you want.”

He says this and Natasha takes her own coffee and walks over to the fridge.

“With what?”

She asks as she opens the fridge and she goes to grab the milk when she stops for just a moment and stares.

“I have food.”

He says it simply and it is the truth. He does have food right now, things he can actually make meals out of  instead of his usual odds and ends.

“You have food. When did this happen?”

She turns and looks at him and he answers her question.

“When I got a super soldier boyfriend who eats a lot. Figured it would be better to make stuff sometimes than always order something.”

“You cook for him, how sweet. Guess you can cook for me today.”

She teases him just a bit right now but he doesn’t mind, just gives her a smile as she puts some milk in her coffee and then sits down at the table.  He gets started on breakfast, not anything too complicated, just scrambled eggs, bacon, and some bagels toasted up. He doesn’t really bother dishing up separate plates, just has a plate of eggs and bacon, a plate with the bagels and then two forks.   They eat together, sharing everything and talking a bit and then they clean up and make their way back to the bedroom.

“I believe someone said something about doing my toes today.”

She says this as she sets down on the bed,  arranging some pillows to prop her up with,  and stretches her legs out.

“I wonder who that was.”

Clint says this with a hint of teasing and she just gives him a glare that has no real heat to it.

“Get the polish, Barton.”

“OK, Romanoff.”

He goes and gets the polish from his closet and then brings it back, gets the remover and cotton balls from the box and hands it to Nat and settled down at the end of the bed.  He starts removing the old polish off of her toe nails as she decides on a color.  He has been doing her nails for her for years, a ritual of sorts almost, and he likes doing it for her, likes pampering her just a bit when he can.  Soon enough her toes are clean of polish and he goes on to the next step.

The ritual has grown a little more complicated over the years, when he first started it was just painting her nails and trying to just get it on her nails and not everywhere else. He has learned since then and now it is much more like a pedicure that she could go somewhere and get but doesn’t have to because Clint will do it for her.  Tasha hands him the emery board out of the box now and he gets to work smoothing the nails. When that is done, she gives him the lotion they keep in there as well. He pours a little bit in his hands, warms it up just a bit before he grabs one of Nat’s feet and starts rubbing it in.  He is careful with how he touches her but her foot still squirms just a bit and he smiles up at her.

“I’m probably one of the only people to know the black widow is ticklish.”

She jabs him with her other foot as she speaks.

“You are and it will stay that way, won’t it?”

She has said something along those lines before and Clint just gives a nod and a yes ma’am before going back to his task.   After a few more minutes, it is time for the polish and she hands him the dark purple she chose.  He paints each nail careful, blows on them  to help them dry and asks if she would like her fingers done as well and she gives a little nod.  He does her fingers much the same as he did her toes but when they are painted he takes ahold of her hands and starts massaging her palms a little bit. She isn’t as ticklish there and she has told him before that she likes it and she relaxes a  bit more and murmers.

“You do have the best hands. I miss them sometimes.”

“You want more of them?”

He asks and Natasha knows what he is referring to, gives a little nod and moves herself just a bit as Clint lets go of her hands.

“Nails are still wet, you’ll have to help me with my pants.”

She says this and he gives a little nod, pulls the sweats she is wearing gently down, careful of her toes that may not be completely dry.  He leaves her underwear on for now, she’ll tell him when she wants it off, and Natasha settles against the pillows once again, rests her hands  flat on the bed as Clint settles in near her spread legs.

“You should keep your hands there, don’t want to smudge it.”

He says this with just a hint of an order and Natasha just gives  another little nod and then he brings his hands to her thighs, starts rubbing little circles on the soft skin.

This is part of the ritual too sometimes and it has been a while since they have been able to do this,  Nat’s mission taking a little while and he has missed it.   It has been exciting with Steve the last few weeks but this is familiar and comforting.  He knows Natasha in ways he doesn’t know Steve yet and she knows him so well. 

He knows Nat and he knows just how to touch her right now, slow gentle circles on her thighs and then the occasional stroke against her underwear. She likes a little bit of teasing first and Clint decides to give it to her today, rubbing her through the cloth and then moving his fingers away only to return soon enough. Her breathing is picking up a bit but she keeps her fingers still.

“Enjoying yourself yet?”

He asks with a bit of a smirk, looks  at her as he just keeps rubbing her.

“It would be better with less underwear.”

This is her hint and Clint just smiles and keeps rubbing.

“How about a please?”

He asks and she just glares at him for a moment before muttering some words.

“Now, Clint.”

“That works too.”

He leans forward with those words and brushes a quick kiss against her lips. Clint leans back and reaches for her underwear, leans down and places a kiss against her skin right above them and then pulls them slowly off.  She is now bare from the waist down, just wearing an old t-shirt of his, hair a little messy, and hands still laid flat against the bed and he thinks she is beautiful like this.  Natasha is always beautiful, when she is on a mission, when she is dressed up, but there is something about seeing her like this, not done up, not playing a part that Clint just loves.  

“I love this, love doing this for you.”

He says this instead of telling her she’s beautiful, says this instead of love you.  It is easier for her to accept these words than others and she gives him a small smile.

“I am aware of that. I enjoy it too.”

This is enough for Clint and he returns her smile and gets back to his task, rubbing her clit now, slow circles.  There is wetness there now and she lifts her hips up every so often to get a bit more of his touch. He isn’t unaffected either, can feel his cock growing just a bit, but he can worry about that later. This is for Natasha and he is going to make it good for her.

He pushes a finger in after a few more circles, keeps rubbing with his other hand. A rhythm starts up after a bit, Clint’s finger going in and out, a bit deeper each time, Nat’s hips thrusting just a bit. Her fingers twitch just a bit but don’t move from where they lay.  He leans in sometimes and gives her kisses, along her mouth, her jaw, her throat, all the little areas he wants to.  He adds a second finger after a while, keeps up a steady rhythm and he knows that she is close. Sometimes when they do this, she has her fingers in his hair and when she tightens her grip he knows it is time to speed things up a bit but her fingers are still against the bed but he still knows. The sign that she is close is there with how her head leans back just a little bit more, mouth open just slightly, breathing just a little quicker.  He does what he needs to,  rubs his thumb just right, twists his fingers just a bit and then she tightens, cums and he can feel it, hear her moan, and sees the way her eyes close for brief moment before opening up just a bit wider than before.   He gently moves his hands away from her after a moment.

“OK, then?”

He asks with just a little bit of a smile and she looks at him.

“It worked. How about you? Need a little relief?”

She knows him well and he gives a little nod and moves off the bed.

“You going to help me or should I give you a show?”

He doesn’t break eye contact when he says this, doesn’t break it when he starts sliding his pants and then boxers off and there is a glint in her eyes that tells him just what she is going to say before she says it.

“Give me a show, haven’t seen it in a while. “

She scoots up a bit more with these words, makes more room for him on the bed. He settles on the space,  kneeling almost, feet under his legs and he grabs his cock now, starts stroking.

“Remember to start slowly, don’t want to rush.”

She says this, voice low and he just gives a little nod and slows his hand down. This is something they have done before as well and he lets her give him instructions, lets her control the pace of it even though he is doing the work.  He glides his hand up and down as she gives another order.

“You can touch more than just that, come on, really give me a show.”

He lets his other hand wander over his body now with her words, settling it in the juncture of his inner thigh, fondling his balls a bit.  It feels good , the touch and it feels good having Nat’s eyes on him as he does it.

“Close your eyes.”

He does, closes them tightly and just continues touching himself, listening to Nat’s instructions.  He can feel the bed shift a bit, feel her heat, and she is a bit closer to him now and her next set of instructions brush air across his throat.

“Move your hand like I would move mine, drag your nails lightly, I know you like that.”

He does like that, likes the tiny bit of pain it brings, not enough to hurt but enough to ache just a bit and he does it. His nails don’t feel as good as hers do along his shaft but it is still good, is still helping it all build. She tells him to pick up his pace and he does. It is getting to be a bit too much and he lets her know with one word.

“Please.”

He whispers it and he can feel her lips against his cheek for just a moment.

“Alright, open your eyes. Finnish up.”

He opens his eyes, twists his hand just a little bit more but it is the kiss that Natasha places against his jawline that really does the trick. His hand is slick with release, his breath quick, face flushed, and Nat smirks at him just a bit.

“Ok, then?”

She asks and he smiles back at her now.

“It worked. Clean up?”

“Clean up.”

She agrees and they both move off of the bed wash up a bit and before Clint can pull his sweets back on, Nat hands him a pair of jeans.

“I want some pastries and you should wear real clothes for that.”

He doesn’t argue, just pulls the jeans on over his boxers, grabs a shirt off the top of his dresser that looks clean as Natasha dresses herself.  It is only after he has it all the way on that he realizes that it isn’t his, is one of Steve’s that has been left behind and he can tell by the way Nat looks at him that she knows this too.

“It is a little big but will do. Looks good.”

She says this with a shrug and leaves the room, Clint follows and after a few more moments of getting ready, they are out on the street heading to a little dessert shop Nat loves.  It is a good day and Clint wouldn’t change it.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope people are reading and enjoying. Caught some sickness crud that has been going around and comments would be awesome, thank you fro reading.

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Steve ends up asking about the scar just like Clint always knew he would, a few  months after he first saw it, when they are on Clint’s bed, not really doing much right now but just laying together, clothes not put back on yet. Clint knows he has wanted to ask for a while, could feel him looking at it every once, could feel his fingers drift close to it but move away as soon as Clint tensed, and he has asked about other scars. Clint has told the story of those scars, the ones he can remember, the bad and the not so bad.  He has talked about the scars from his father, the ones that came from the circus, the ones that came from his time at SHIELD but he hasn’t said anything about that one. Tonight, Steve’s fingers rest on Clint’s skin near it , but not on it, and he murmurs a question now.

“You don’t want this one touched, why, what happened?”

The question is asked softly, just quiet enough that Clint could possibly ignore it, could kiss Steve now and make him focus on other things. It is tempting but he made a promise to himself that he would answer when asked and he takes a breath and closes his eyes, doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He can feel Steve shift a bit on the bad, can feel his fingers move off of his skin now.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, if you can’t for some reason.”

There is understanding in his voice, understanding and something that sounds a bit like worry, like insecurity. Clint opens his eyes and shakes his head just a bit.

“I can tell you, just give me a few seconds.”

Steve gives him a nod and his fingers settle on Clint’s arm, a comforting pressure. Clint keeps his eyes on Steve and it makes it a little easier to get ready to talk about this.  He takes another breath and then starts and his voice is steady than it was last time he talked about this.

“It happened before I met you, like just before I met you, before the battle of New York, when Loki had me. I know it looks older than that, not as new, but that is when it happened. It was night, during some down time, and Loki had me in his chamber, had me undress.”

His voice does shake at that last word just as Steve’s eyes widen just a bit.

“Did he…” Steve asks and Clint doesn’t let him finish the question.

“No, he didn’t do that, I think he was saving that for later, didn’t get a chance to.”

Clint will always be just a bit thankful for that, thankful that with everything Loki did to him, took from him, that Nat was able to get him back to himself before he took that.  Steve grabs his hand now, grips it tightly and Clint doesn’t move it away, just goes on with what he needs to say.

“He wanted to look me over and he did, asked me questions while he did so, asked me about Nat, about SHIELD. He saw my scars, asked me if some of them came from my time with them, if I bleed for them. I told him I did, answered every question he asked, had no choice.”

It had been horrible, sitting there so still, nothing covering him as Loki sat beside him fully clothed, the occasional touch of his cold fingers over Clint’s skin and how it didn’t feel as wrong as it should have, how the power of the spear made it ok, made Clint almost want Loki’s attention. He was trapped in himself and it is still hard to think about sometimes but he is going to talk about it now because Steve deserves to know just what happened, why Clint tenses up. He told Natasha while it was still so fresh and he can tell Steve now that it has been with him for awhile.

“He went and got something after a little while, talked about how I was his now.  It was a knife, he showed it to me, told me that since I bled for them, I should bleed for him.  He cut me then, made that scar, said I would always know I was his from now on.”

“You’re not his.”

Steve states this so plainly, with so much conviction in his voice that Clint gives a little smile at it.

“I know, I’m not but he said I was, did something to the cut after, made it heal fast but not without this scar. It is still a reminder of him and it isn’t easy to know just what he did to me, how he pushed me down inside myself, how weak I can be.”

He can feel the sting of tears forming in his eyes and he closes them for a moment, doesn’t let the tears fall.  Steve is still holding his hand but he shift a bit closer, Clint can feel him move, and the fingers on his arm move to his throat now, to the pulse there.  The touch is warm, gentle and light, everything Loki’s was not and Steve’s voice is soft when he speaks.

“You’re not weak. You survived him, Clint, survived him like you have everything else.”

When Steve says it, Clint can believe it, just like he can when Natasha says that he is stronger than he realizes. He doesn’t say anything, just opens his eyes and gives Steve a little nod . Steve gives him a small smile, fingers gently moving away from his throat and hand, and soon enough he is wrapping his arms around Clint, moving so that they are lying down instead of sitting.  They lay like that for a  few moments of quiet, Steve just holding him as Clint lets himself just breathe for a little bit. After a few moments, Steve’s voice breaks the quiet.

“I want you to know that you don’t have to bleed for me, Clint, I won’t ask you to.”

It sounds like a promise and Clint knows to not always trust those but he wants to trust this one.  He leans into Steve just a bit, smiles against the skin of Steve’s throat and whispers some words.

“I know.”

He does know that but he won’t tell Steve that he thinks he would bleed for him, doesn’t think it is the right time to say something like that even though it is the truth. He would bleed for Steve just like he has for Nat but right now he doesn’t have to , just needs to lay here and let Steve hold him and he does.

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“You got a new blanket, how many do you need in your living room?”

It is the first things he says as he walks into Natasha’s living room and she gives a little shrug as she makes her way to the couch.  There are two blankets on the back of it but both of those are familiar to Clint. In fact the plaid one on top is one Clint gave her years ago.  She told him once that when she was a child they only allowed them to have one blanket and the rooms were always cold. She said it made them stronger and she always thought extra blankets were a luxury. He got it for her just because and she had given him a soft smile when she opened it, ran her fingers over it and commented on how soft it was. She has collected  quite a few more over the years, some from Clint and some she has gotten herself, and most of her furniture ends up with one draped over them.

“As many as I want and this one is really soft.”

She says this simply as she sits down. Clint looks at the new blue blanket thrown over one of her chairs and it does look really soft. He thinks about touching it but his hands are full right now so he just gives a little nod and makes his way over to the couch, sits down and puts the package on the coffee table in front of him.  Natasha looks at it for just a moment before turning to him and asking a question.

“Any reason you brought your mail with you today?”

“Thought I would see if you would let me keep this here for a little while.”

“Depends on what it is. Can I?”

She asks pointing to the box and he gives her a nod. He watches as she tears the tape off it, opens it, and pulls what is inside out. She stares out it for a long moment, expression somewhere between confusion and amusement.

“Why do you need to keep this here?”

She is holding it with one hand, up in the air like she is still not quite sure what to make of it.

“It is a present for Steve but I don’t know when I’m going to give it to him and I don’t want him finding it in my place before then. Does he come over here a lot?”

Clint isn’t even sure if Steve has ever been here, doesn’t think he and Nat hang out that much outside of missions and the occasional time when it is all three of them but it doesn’t hurt to ask.  She just shakes her head.

“Your boyfriend and I don’t exactly hang out or have secret meetings or anything like that. You can keep it here but are you really sure a stuffed animal is the most romantic gift?”

She holds out the Cap bear to him when she says this and he grabs it from her.

“It isn’t supposed to be a romantic gift, it is supposed to be funny. It is really cute though, don’t you think?”

He moves the bear’s paw so it is waving at her and she rolls her eyes a bit and lets out a sigh.

“I suppose. I’ll find a spot for it later.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

He leans towards her with those words, brushes a kiss against her cheek.

“I know, ready to go get lunch?”

She says this and that is the plan for the day, lunch and just some time together and he gives a nod.

“Yep but first I want to give you something.”

“It’s not a stuffed animal, is it?”

She asks and he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, that is just a Steve thing for now. It is still a little corny though.”

It is a bit corny and a bit sentimental and that isn’t always the best way to go with Natasha but Clint wanted to get her this.  He gets it out of his pocket now, hands her the small box and watches as she opens it up.

“Really, an arrow?”

There is a bit of fond annoyance in her voice and a little smile on her lips. Clint gives her a shrug and bigger smirk.

“You should be glad I got a small one, they had bigger ones, and matching earrings. I wanted you to know it is from me, that I’m still yours even with everything going on.”

He is hers, even if they aren’t an official couple, even with all their complications.  She holds the necklace out and looks at it, turns to him and just stares at him for a moment.

“You’re such a sap.”

She mutters this but there is still that small smile on her face.

“But I’m your sap.”

“That you are. Help me with it.”

She holds it out to him and he moves the teddy bear before taking it, unclasping it and placing it around her neck.  It looks good, the necklace small and dainty, something most people won’t even notice.  Nat gets up and goes look in the mirror she has in the living room, looks it over.

“Not too bad.  How does Thai sound?”

“Good, eat there or bring it back? Anything else you want to do while we are out?”

He asks and they talk about it as they leave the apartment.  They walk close together, not holding hands but brushing into each other on occasion, and it is a comfortable walk.  They get their lunch, bring it back to the apartment and eat while watching some tv. It is a lazy afternoon for both of them and right before Clint leaves, Nat puts the bear on her dresser drawer for safe keeping.  He’ll get it from her when he needs it.

::::::::::::::::

 “Have you ever thought of getting a cover-up for any of your scars?”

Steve asks the question while they are watching one of those competition reality shows, this one about tattoo artists and the theme of the day is scar cover up. Steve will watch his reality shows with him and that is sort of nice.  Clint just gives a little shrug as he answers the question.

“There is only one that I would really want covered and I just don’t know what I would want there, can’t really change it easily once I get it.”

Steve just gives a little nod, eyes darting to the spot where the scar from Loki’s is. It is covered up right now but they both know that it is there and Clint has gotten a bit better about it the last few weeks but he still isn’t that comfortable with it. Steve just turns his attention back to the episode and Clint doesn’t really think about any possible ideas for tattoos until a couple weeks later, when Steve comes over with a sketch book and markers.

“I was thinking about what you said, about how you weren’t sure what you would cover it up with, how you can’t change it once you chose and I have an idea.”

Steve says this to him one day, opens up the sketch book. There are designs on the page that he shows Clint, different things, fire, trees, ice but they all have the same general shape to them, a curve like the one on his hip.

Clint asks, might know the answer already but it is still sometimes hard to think that others will give him gifts. That is what these are, a gift and Steve gives a little nod.

“They are, if you want them or we can find some other designs.”

“They’re beautiful but I wouldn’t know what to pick and it wouldn’t be easy to change.”

Clint means it, the designs are beautiful and it means a lot that Steve has thought about this, that he drew these for Clint but it doesn’t change the fact that if he chose one, that would be it.  Steve just gives a little smile right now and speaks again.

“I thought about that. If you want, you could try them out, see how they look. I could draw them on you, they would fade or wash off and then  you could try a new one.”

It is a good idea but there is still the problem of Clint not liking that scar touched. Maybe it is something that they can work up to so Clint gives a little nod right now.

“That would work but let’s wait a little while before we try it, have to make sure I can sit still for it.”

It is a bit of an excuse and Steve might know that but he doesn’t say anything, just gives Clint another little smile and then a kiss. They look over the designs a bit more now, Steve telling Clint just why he picked out certain things, what colors might work best for which but soon they are interrupted by both of their phones going off. There is a mission, one for both of them and the notebook gets set aside to be looked at a bit closer later.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly over my cold and here is a bit more so I hope you enjoy and comments make my day.

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“You’re going to yell at him when he wakes up, aren’t you?”

The question comes in the silence of the room drawing Clint’s eyes away from Steve in the hospital bed to Natasha in the chair next to him.  She is looking straight at him, a little tired looking, a little worn looking. It has been a long day for all of them and she has stayed with him this whole time. He should tell her to go take a shower, go get some sleep, but he needs her right now so he doesn’t, answers her question.

“Probably.”

Clint would yell at him right now but  Steve isn’t awake to hear it and if Clint is going to yell, then Steve is going to hear it. He is under sedation right now but the wound is already healing, he is going to be fine.  Steve is going to be fine but he is still unconscious in a hospital bed because he took a shot to the gut today. He is going to be fine but he took a shot meant for Clint and Clint wants to yell at him for doing it, for putting himself in harm’s way but he has to wait till he is awake for it to do any good.

“Yelling at him isn’t going to change anything , isn’t going to stop him from doing it again.”

Natasha states this like it is a fact and Clint just looks at her for a long moment . She returns his stare and then speaks again with a little shrug.

“If he is anything like you, it  won’t work. He’ll apologize, promise to be careful next time, and before you know it , he’ll do something stupid again and you’ll find yourself yelling again. I know from experience, lots of experience.”

She has narrowed her eyes into a bit of a glare at Clint so he knows exactly what she is referring to but there isn’t real anger in it, just fond irritation. It is true that Clint has done his fair share of stupid over the years, for Nat and for others, and Tasha has done her fair share of yelling at him for it. He could bring up how she has done her own stupid for him and how he has yelled about it but he doesn’t think it will do any good right now.  

“I’ll remind you that it won’t do any good next time you get going but you’ll probably still yell at me.”

He says this and Nat gives him a small smile and then says one word.

“Probably .”

Clint returns her smile briefly before returning his eyes to Steve. The room settles into quiet again and a few moments pass before Clint breaks it.

“That shot was meant for me, I’m going to yell even if it won’t do any good.  You can yell at him too.”

Clint has the right to yell at Steve if he wants to, it may not do any good but it will make Clint feel better. Natasha places her hand against his shoulder now and it draws his attention back to her.

“He took a shot for you but he is going to be ok. You may not have been. I won’t yell at him today, not for this, not even if you ask me to.”

Her voice is calm, no shake at all to it, but the tone reminds him of that day on the hellicarrier, after Loki, reminds him of when she said I’m compromised instead of I love you. She had been shaken then, worried that she could have lost him but not quite willing or able to show it and he realizes that she must have been worried today.  He puts a hand over hers on his shoulder now,  looks her in the eyes and speaks softly.

“I’m ok, you’re stuck with me a bit longer.”

He brushes a quick kiss against her forehead now and gets rewarded with a small smile.

“Thanks to him.”

She looks over at Steve in the bed for just a moment before turning her attention back to him.  Clint understands where she is coming from but he isn’t quite ready to let his irritation go yet.

“Yep, thanks to the idiot in that bed.”

Natasha smirks just a tiny bit at his words before speaking.

“Usually you’re the idiot in that bed.”

She has a point but he shakes his head.

“I’m not today, he is.”

“At least he is your idiot apparently, like you’re mine.”

There is irritated fondness in her voice again and Clint smiles at it.

“And you’re my not idiot.”

Natasha rolls her eyes at him but before she can say anything another voice is heard, drawing their attention to the bed again.

“Who’s not an idiot?”

Steve is awake, just barely, but the sight of his eyes open and his body shifting on the bed fills Clint with relief and he can feel Natasha gives his shoulder a little squeeze and he squeezes her hand in return before moving his hand away.

“Natasha.”

Clint says this simply and Steve gives a little nod.

“I knew that.”

He says this and Natasha just gives a small smile as she gets up.

“I’ll see you boys later. Take it easy on him, he’s hurt.”

Those last words are to Clint, accompanied by a little pat to his shoulder and then she is leaving the room. It is just the two of them and Clint still wants to yell but first he reaches out and grabs one of Steve’s hands.  It feels solid and warm in his grip and Clint gives himself  a few moments to be glad he still gets to feel this before he asks a question.

“How are you feeling?”

He can get to the yelling in a bit, needs to know this. Steve just gives a little shrug.

“Not too bad, have had worse.”

He’s ok and Clint can vent now.

“It was stupid what you did, not worth the risk.”

It isn’t quite a yell yet but there is definitely just a bit of annoyance in his voice and Steve’s eyes narrow just a bit.

“It was worth the risk, you’re worth the risk.”

Steve says this and Clint just shakes his head.

“You’re needed Steve, you can’t just throw yourself in front of danger  like that because one of us might get hurt.”

Clint means he can’t just throw himself in front of danger  for Clint but he doesn’t phrase it like that.

“You’re needed too and I don’t regret taking the shot, would do it again in a heartbeat if it means you’re ok.”

Steve’s voice is fierce but calm  when he says this and it warms something inside of Clint even if he is still a bit angry about the situation.  Clint can’t hold back now.

“Damn it Steve, you don’t have to bleed for me! I didn’t ask you to.  I don’t want to be the reason that you’re hurt.”

These words are loud, a shout, and Steve winces just a bit and Clint thinks that may have a bit to do with the fact that he is squeezing his hand tight now and just not with Clint’s tone.  He makes himself loosen the grip just a bit, makes himself take a breath and then he speaks.

“You can’t tell me I don’t have to bleed for you and then bleed for me.”

These words are soft, almost a whisper but Steve still hears them, Clint knows he does. Steve reaches his hand that isn’t in Clint’s grip out, places it on Clint’s neck, fingers against his pulse.  He just looks at Clint for a long moment and then he talks, words steady and sure.

“You didn’t ask me to, I chose to, and I would choose to again. You can yell at me if you want but it won’t change that I’m willing to hurt for you.”

Clint is still not happy with how things went today but there is something  reassuring about those words. Steve cares, he cares so damn much, and Clint is still amazed at it sometimes.  He just leans into Steve’s touch just a bit more right now before muttering some words just loud enough that Steve will still hear them.

“You’re ridiculously stubborn, you ever been told that before?”

“Many times.”

There is just a bit of smile on Steve’s face when he says this and Clint can’t really keep up the irritation anymore. Steve got hurt for Clint and he shouldn’t have but he is here and ok and that is really what matters. Still, Clint needs to make sure Steve understands something.

“You said it was your choice to hurt for me and I want you to know it is my choice if I do the same for you.  Understand?”

Steve gives a short nod.

“You’re going to yell at me when I do, aren’t you?”

Clint asks this now and Steve gives another nod as he speaks.

“More than likely, just like you’re going to yell at me if I do this again.”

 

“Probably. Just don’t do it again and you won’t have to worry about the yelling. “

Clint says this now and Steve just gives a shrug.

“I’m used to yelling, it isn’t so bad.”

Clint shakes his head at him but he doesn’t really say anything right now, just leans in closer, brushes a kiss against Steve’s lips. It is maybe something he shouldn’t do here but damn it he watched his boyfriend get shot for him today so Clint is going to have some kisses.  Steve returns it and Clint pulls back for just a moment to mutter some more words.

“It was still stupid what you did but I love you.”

He doesn’t even realize he said those last words till Steve’s eyes widen just a bit, a reaction to the confession Clint just made. It is true, Clint knows that much, he loves Steve, and that is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. He can figure out how to deal with all of that latter, for now he says something to Steve.

“You don’t have to say it back or anything, it just sort of slipped out.”

Clint means all of that, Steve doesn’t have to say it back, Clint can deal with Steve not quite feeling the same way right now as long as he cares and Clint knows he cares. Today proved that. Steve just looks at him for a moment before asking a question.

“So you mean it then?”

Clint doesn’t hesitate just says yes and Steve grins at it, leans forward and gives Clint a kiss and then speaks against his lips.

“Good, cause I love you too.”

It is an amazing thing to hear and Clint smiles, takes another kiss. They pull apart after a bit but stay close, hands still touching, and after a bit Clint gets the tv remote, finds something to watch. Some med personal come in after a bit, look Steve over and say that he should stay over night just to make sure and then they are left alone. It is a little bit after that when Clint’s phone goes off and there is a message from Nat waiting for him.

_still there?_

He types out of his reply quickly.

_Steve has to stay over night, probably be here a bit longer._

_how did it go_

She asks and he answers.

_yelled a bit  he yelled back we kissed there was mushy confessions it is all good now if you want to come back_

_be there in a bit I’ll bring pizza_

Clint grins at her reply and then sends another request

_you’re awesome bring it too please_

_ok, will do_

She sends him this, doesn’t ask what it is and Clint just puts his phone away and tells Steve that Nat is going to come and bring them dinner.  Steve just says that sounds good and goes back to watching what they found,  one of the food completion shows. Nat shows up after  a while, pizza boxes and two bags in hand and looks up at the tv as she enters.

“You convinced him to watch these?”

She says this to Clint but before he can answer Steve speaks.

“They aren’t so bad, kind of fun. What pizza did you bring?”

“Supreme, pepperoni, veggie, and some cheese sticks. Some soda too.”

She says this simply as she moves closer to them, puts the pizza boxes down and hands Clint one of the bags as she opens up the other one.  He puts the bag she gave him under his chair, will take care of that later, right now he eats some pizza with his favorite people.

It is over all a fairly decent evening, Nat stays for a bit, finishes dinner with them and then heads back, tells Clint he should shower and sleep in his own bed instead of the chair before she leaves.  He plans to do that but first he has something else he wants to do and he gets the bag out now.

“I got something for you, was saving it for when one of us did something stupid. I really thought it was going to be me but I guess you proved me wrong.”

He says it with just a bit of teasing in his voice and Steve just gives a little shrug before speaking with the same sort of tone.

“I like proving people wrong.  Let’s see what it is.”

Clint hands him the bag and Steve opens it up, pulls the bear at it. He stares at it for a while before giving Clint a bit of a look and Clint just smirks back at him.

“It is cute and you have something to cuddle with tonight.”

Steve gives a little smile and shakes his head a bit but still tells Clint thank you and gives him a kiss before he leaves.  The next day when Steve is back in his apartment and Clint goes over to see how he is doing, the bear is in the living room, sitting in one of the chairs and Clint just smiles at the sight of it.

 

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	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are reading and enjoying, comments would be great.

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It has been about four days since the mission, since Steve took a shot for him and things are alright for the most part. Steve is already healed up mostly, only a little mark to show for the shot and that may be gone soon enough.  Clint has run fingers and lips over it just like Steve does with some of his scars and Steve seems to like that.  The cap bear sits on Steve’s dresser just like it did Natasha’s for a few weeks and Natasha was true to her word and hasn’t yelled at Steve though they did have some sort of talk. Clint doesn’t know what was said, that is between them, but he thinks it went all right for the most part and he is glad that they talked.  There is just a bit of distance between them and Clint isn’t going to push them towards each other, not yet, but he does want them to get along, be friends if nothing else.  It is something to think about later, right now he focuses on finishing up what he is doing at SHIELD so he can head home. He almost makes it out but Fury catches him in the hallway.

“Barton, we need to talk before you head out. Follow me.”

There is a tone in Fury’s voice that tells Clint he isn’t going to get out of this so he just sort of sighs and follows him to his office. He goes through what could possibly be the topic for the day and he is coming up a bit blank. All of his psych appointments have been attended, he hasn’t gotten into any fights, been keeping his distance from any agents that might cause a problem, and the few missions he has been on lately have gone ok so he can’t think of what Fury wants to yell at him for this time.  So he just sits down across from him and waits to see what he is going to say.

“So you and Rogers are a thing now.’

Fury doesn’t say it like a question, just states it like a fact  and this isn’t really what Clint thought they would be talking about.

“Are we really going to discuss my love life, sir? Can we talk about yours instead?”

He asks and Fury gives him a bit of a glare. It is always a bit of a touchy subject since his divorce years ago but Clint figures it might distract him from this but Fury just shakes his head.

“Nothing to talk about on that front currently so I think we should stick with the topic at hand. You and Rogers, he took a shot for you and then you two made out in the hospital after, there were some confusions, lots of talk about that.”

“For the record, we didn’t make out, it was a couple kisses at most.”

Clint says this, feels like it is important to stress that detail for some reason. Fury just keeps a steady look at Clint and keeps talking.

“Don’t need all the details, just wanted to touch base with you on it, talk about professionalism. We have had this talk before but I figured a reminder wouldn’t be bad.”

The last time they had this talk was a few months after Clint brought Natasha in. Their relationship hadn’t even turned physical yet at that point but Fury had still sat them both down and talked about how they could do what they want but that they both still had jobs to do. It had been a somewhat awkward talk and Clint isn’t sure if Fury has it with every shield agent that does something  with another or if he is just special because they have known each other for so long. Right now he just gives a nod.

“I know to keep things professional out in the field. You going to talk with him too?”

Fury tilts his head just a bit right now, thinks for a moment before answering.

“Haven’t decided yet. Do I need to?”

He says this  and Clint thinks about it for just a moment before shrugging.

“Up to you. Steve knows how to be discreet.”

“I’ll take your word on that for now.  Things must be going well, you got him a gift and everything. Didn’t think of Rogers as the stuffed animal type.”

There is just a slight smirk on Fury’s face right now and Clint just shakes his head a bit.

“You really need a new hobby besides watching feeds from medical.”

“What can I say? It is better than what is on cable most of the time and I need to know what is going on. You and Romanoff still good?”

He asks now and Clint just gives a little nod.

“We’re good, we’re fine.  Can I start asking you about your relationships now?”

“Afraid we are out of time, got a meeting in five but I can walk you out.”

There may or may not be a meeting but Clint will let Fury have his out.

“Alright, we can talk about you next time. Do I get to at least know what your meeting is about ?“

This is what Clint says as he gets up and Fury tell him that is classified as they leave the office.  The short walk to the door is filled with Clint’s guess of what the meeting could be and Fury not really denying or confirming anything and soon enough Clint gets ready to leave the building for real this time when Fury says one more thing.

“I just want you to know that what you do off the clock is your business and if it is working for you, good for you ,but try to keep things professional when you can. People are always looking for others to screw up. ”

It is a warning and Clint knows that there are a few people who are looking for him to screw up, have been waiting for it, and they had pounced a bit after New York but have been kept at bay, Fury keeping them at bay.

“They always have been. You have my back, Sir?”

He asks this but he knows that Fury does.  They don’t always see eye to eye and Fury doesn’t always tell him everything but Clint does trust him for the most part.  He offered him a chance when most wouldn’t and Clint will always owe him for that.

“I do. Don’t do anything stupid that might make me want to change my mind.”

Fury says this and Clint just makes his face look as innocent as he can as he speaks.

“ When have I ever done anything stupid?”

“We don’t have time to go over the list. I have to get to my meeting but maybe next time if you have some free hours. “

Fury says this deadpan but there is just a little twinkle in his  eye and Clint just makes a scoffing sound before telling him he will see him around. Fury leaves and Clint gets out of the building and heads home, tells himself that he will need to give Steve a heads up about a possible talk with Fury later.

A few more days pass, Clint gets a mission with just Nat and it feels like old times.  They end up at one of their safe houses after , eating random assortment of canned food for dinner, and playing some cards.  Their pick up will be in the morning and for now they just have to lay low and this is familiar, the old wind down from the mission, the being safe but not home yet, and neither of them picked up too many injuries though Clint has a cut on his forehead that Nat insisted on bandaging and she teases him about as they get ready to start a new game of cards.

“Is your boyfriend going to yell at me for bringing you back to him damaged?”

“Hey, I’m not damaged, it will heal up in a few days. Considering his last mission with me he got shot, he can’t really complain.  Want to play slap jack this time?”

She says yes and then they start the game, quiet settling in for a bit more before Tasha breaks it with some words as Clint smacks the cards and takes the pile.

“You know, I had a talk with Fury the other day.”

“This one about something in particular?”

He asks now, knows that is what she is wanting.

“Yep, it was about you, about your dating and how that might be affecting me.  Not exactly my favorite topic of conversation but one Fury felt was needed.”

There is irritation in her voice but Clint really knows that the irritation is just slight and he gives her a quick smile as he misses the cards this time as she gets to them first.

“It is how he shows he cares and also I think he may need more hobbies so he doesn’t watch the hospital feeds so  much. “

Natshsha gives a little shrug and places her first card down.

“We could try to get him one. He could collect something but  I’m not sure what.  Knives maybe? ”

Clint lays down a card and shakes his head.

“I don’t think collecting would work, he needs something to do with his hands and his time. Maybe knitting? You could maybe even get some more blankets out of the deal. “

Natasha leans forward a bit more as she throws her card down, eyes furrowed just a bit.

“That could work, it would be productive and he would have something to show for it.  Do you think he would like needle point?”

They spend a good hour discussing the various merits of different hobbies for Fury before they decide to put the cards away and get some rest.  They soon enough are in the bed and Clint isn’t wearing a shirt, just some sleep pants and the scar is visible and Natasha fingers move close to it as she settles down close to him and Clint tenses up, squirms just a bit.

“Still having trouble with that.”

Natasha says this and it isn’t a question but Clint still gives an answer.

“ A bit but Steve has plan that might help with it, just have to wait and see.”

He says this and she just gives a little nod, doesn’t really ask much about, just lays close to him. It doesn’t take too long for them to fall asleep. Nat takes most of the covers but Clint doesn’t wake up too cold and they decide to send Fury some knitting magazines later, just in case he does need a hobby.  It is just a day after Clint comes back from that mission that he decides that it was a good call to discuss getting Fury a hobby because Steve shows up at Clint’s place and the first words out of his mouth are about his own meeting with Fury.

“You know, I really didn’t think I would have to discuss personal affairs with Fury, he didn’t seem the type but I  guess I was wrong. He gave me a speech about professionalism and also a couple threats. He do this a lot?”

“Mostly when he is bored. Nat and I think he needs a hobby. Any suggestions?”

Steve just shakes his head but that is ok cause they already came up with a few that might work.  For now, Clint just gives Steve a kiss and enjoys a day with his boyfriend.

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Clint is stretched out on the bed, pillow under his head, not wearing very much at all and it is a position he has been in before but not for this reason. Usually he would be either getting ready for sleep or for something a bit more fun but today he is going to play human canvases finally and he thinks he may not be the only one a little bit nervous about it if the way Steve is looking at him is any indication.

“This is going to take a little while, may tickle a bit. Let me know if you need me to stop and I will try not to mess up.”

Steve says all of this while looking Clint straight in the eye, expression just a little serious but Clint gives him a little smile.

“I trust you, I’ll try not to move.”

“That is probably a good idea, otherwise it may not end up looking that great.”

Steve says this simply and then picks up the first marker, places it gently on Clint’s skin and starts to draw. It feels strange, not quite bad but strange, different that the sting of the blade but he can still the pressure of the marker on his skin and it is making him tense up just a bit.  He needs to calm down and so he asks Steve something.

“Can you talk while you do this? It doesn’t matter about what, just anything, drawing or something.”

Clint says this now and soon enough Steve’s voice fills the room.

“I used to take drawing classes you know, any ones I could find. Bucky would go with me though he didn’t really draw half the time, just watched me and made comments about things. Said it was interesting seeing me create something, making art. I couldn’t really understand watching someone else make something pretty back then but I did understand eventually.”

Steve has kept with the strokes of his marker and he stops for just a moment now, switches colors and then goes back to talking.

“After I got the serum, I was sent on tour, on the war bond tour. It wasn’t really something I enjoyed but I thought it was the only option I had besides being a lab rat. Felt like a dancing monkey most of the time. ”

There is a bit of regret and something that sounds like embarrassment and Clint tries to lighten the mood a bit.

“Hey, I have seen the old footage, at least you looked great in tight pants.”

“Looked?”

Steve asks with just a hint of teasing in his voice and Clint gives a smile, feels a bit more relaxed now.

“You still look great in tight pants, don’t worry. You were saying something about the tour?”

Clint asks and Steve keeps drawing as he starts speaking again.

“On the tour, there were a lot of dancers and we would have to get ready together.  I would see them do their hair and make up and I started to understand why Bucky would like to watch me draw. “

The strokes of the marker are still gliding on his skin and it is tempting to look but Clint doesn’t yet, just lays there and listens as Steve talks about watching the girls do their makeup.

“I used to always see girls done up, hair perfectly curled, lips red and eyes lined and I always thought how nice they would look but it was something else to see them do it, to watch as they made themselves up. They were pretty anyway but they would make themselves more so and  it was like art. I liked watching them get ready but I enjoyed watching Peggy get ready even more.”

Steve stops and switches markers again, starts telling Clint about some of watching Peggy do her make up and Clint thinks if he closes his eyes, he might be able to see just what Steve is describing.

“She wouldn’t be able to take as much time as the girls did for the show but she was still so precise, so well practiced at it.  She would close one eye as she swept the pencil along it, so close to her lashes I was surprised that she didn’t’ poke herself in the eye. I actually tried it once to see how hard it was and did poke myself in the eye, cursed quite a bit when I did.”

Clint lets out a little laugh at the image of Steve trying to line his eye and poking it instead and he looks at Steve for just a moment to see a smile on his face.

“That is about how Bucky reacted too, laughed and told me that I should probably stick to drawing on paper and not on my face. Peggy just told me if I really wanted to try it to let her do it for me sometime.”

There is fondness in his voice, fondness and something that almost sounds like longing and Clint has heard it before when Steve has spoken about them.

“You loved them a lot, didn’t you?”

“I still love them but it doesn’t change the fact I love you too.”

Steve says this and Clint gives a small smile.

“I know.”

He does know that you can be in love with more than one person, is himself and he isn’t going to judge Steve for it. Steve gives a little smile and keeps drawing on Clint.

“I have told Peggy about you, just so you know.”

He says this and Clint tries to sound casual when he speaks.

“Good things I hope.”

“Yep, when she has her good days, she wants to meet you.”

Clint has heard about Peggy’s good days, has heard Steve speak about them, and  knows he gets quiet when it was a bad day but he still visits. She is a part of his past that is still here and Clint knows that it means a lot for him to see her, to still have her even if it isn’t like he used to, and it would be exciting to meet her but Clint is a little nervous about it.

“I would like to. She know who I am?”

He asks now and Steve gives a nod.

“Yep, told her we work together, told her your name, she knows a lot about you already on her good days, didn’t tell her about your purple costume from the circus though I have been tempted to show her and anyone I meet those. “

Clint is still not entirely happy with himself for showing Steve old circus pics and letting him take a pic of one on his phone for a background but he will worry about that later. Right now he will ask the question he really wants answered.

“I mean, does she know who I am to you?”

It is important that Clint knows if Steve has just called him a friend or if Peggy knows that they are a thing. Steve looks at him for just a moment before answering.

“I told her you’re my sweetheart if that is what you’re asking.”

Clint grins even as he teases just a bit.

“Sweetheart? What are you like 90 something?”

Steve looks him straight in the eyes and replies with the most honest expression.

“Technically, yes. Now hold still so I can finish this.”

Clint just gives a little laugh and nod and does as he is told.  There are a few more moments of quiet and then Steve is putting the markers away.

“You can look at it now if you want. I think it turned out all right but if you don’t like it will go away in a few days.”

Steve says this, shifts so that Clint can moves from the bed now. He does, gets up and goes to the bathroom so he can use the mirror. There is a sense of nervousness but also excitement and he looks at the scar now, at the red and orange that is over it, flames dancing along the curve of it.  It is an interesting design, flame along his hip and it makes him think of the heat of Steve’s fingers against his skin instead of the chill of Loki’s like he usually does when he sees that scar.  He moves his fingers to it now, has them just above it, almost ready to touch when Steve’s voice stops him.

“It might not be dry yet, you should wait a bit. What do you think?”

Steve steps into the bathroom now, steps close to Clint. He looks just a bit nervous, something shy in the smile he is giving Clint right now and it warms Clint just a bit.  

“Not sure if I would want it there forever but it looks good. Thank you.”

He gives Steve a kiss with those words and he means them. It is nice that Steve wants to help him with this and Clint thinks it is a good start. Later on that night, Steve’s fingers go near it and Clint tenses up less than before, gives Steve a little nod and Steve is able to place a finger softly on the scar, runs it over the flames for just a moment before  he has to shift away but it is progress and Clint will take it.

 

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	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a bit more and i hope people are enjoying.

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The last few weeks have been going great. Clint went on one of Steve’s visits with Peggy and it went fairly well,  Peggy even telling Clint a few stories about Steve that made Steve blush.  Steve has drawn on him twice since that first time and it is getting easier and easier for the scar to be touched now. Natasha had even ran fingers over it the other day and commented on the vine and leaf design, said that Rogers has some decent art skills when Clint told her how he got it. There have been fewer bad nights and days and no major injuries for anyone. Things have been good and so of course something has to happen.

Of all the things to hit Clint, a cold was not one he was expecting but there is no doubt he has one as he wakes up alone this morning. His nose is stuffed up, his chest aches, throat is scratchy , and he is sore all over.  He doesn’t want to get out of bed so he doesn’t, can’t even bring himself to get ahold of Nat to let her know that he isn’t up to their plans for the day now.  He just lays there and eventually drifts back to sleep.

Even sick he still wakes up when he feels a presence in the room but he doesn’t look, just lays there and then the bed shifts and he knows Natasha is there. It is only a moment and then her hand is brushing against his forehead and she murmurs something softly but he can still hear it.

“You didn’t show up for coffee. Had to make sure you weren’t dead.”

He moves just a bit so he can look at her and his throat hurts when he speaks.

“Not dead but I think I’m dying.”

The words come out like a croak and Natasha shakes her head at him just a bit and rolls her eyes.

“You’re not dying. Is your phone in here?”

He gives a little nod at her question and points to where the phone sits on the bedside table.  She reaches and grabs it and it is only when she starts to push numbers that he thinks to ask her about why she wants it.

“What you doing?”

He croaks it out again and he should probably get some water but he doesn’t want to get out of bed for it. Natasha pauses for just a moment to answer his question.

“Calling Rogers. Since he is your boyfriend now, it is his job to come over here and deal with your talk of dying while I go get stuff to make you less whiney and sick.”

He wants to argue that he doesn’t get whiney while sick but he moves just a bit and it hurts so he just sort of lets out a noise instead.  She just finishes typing in the numbers and then puts the phone to her ear as it rings.  Steve picks up after about three rings, Clint can hear his hellos just faintly, and Natasha speaks quickly.

“This is Natasha. Clint is sick, probably needs some things but shouldn’t be left alone, if you can, you need to come over here now so I can go get them.”

Her words sound more like an order than a suggestion and Steve doesn’t even argue or debate with her, just tells her he will be over there shortly. The call is over quickly and she puts the phone back where she got it from, gets off the bed. She is back within in a few moments and she is making him move just a bit.

“Need your temperature so open your mouth.

The words are an order and so he does open his mouth and she sticks the thermometer in his mouth. It takes only a few moments and then she is pulling it out and looking at it.

“Definitely have a fever and you’re super clammy. “

  She says this and Clint just looks at her for a moment before speaking.

“Probably because I’m dying.”

She rolls her eyes at him before getting up again, leaving the bedroom. He closes his eyes, just lets himself rest while she does whatever it is she thinks she needs to do and he opens them again when he hears her come close.

“You should drink this and take this, I will get you some real cold medicine soon but at least this should help the fever.”

She hands him a glass of water and some aspirin. He swallows them down with some water and starts to put the three full glass on the table when Tasha stops him.  

“The whole thing, Clint.”

He doesn’t take a drink yet just shakes his head a bit.

“It might make me need to pee,  I don’t want to leave the bed.”

He knows that this might count as whiney but he really doesn’t want to get up if he can help it. Natasha just shakes her head and gestures to the glass of water.

“You’re going to have to get out of bed eventually. Drink it.”

Her voice is that tone right now, the one that Clint knows means she won’t back down on this so he gives a small sigh and drinks down the rest of the glass.  It makes his throat feel a bit better but he is sure that he is going to have to pee soon but Nat gives him a little smile and that might make it worth it.

“I’ll go get you another one.”

He groans just a bit but that doesn’t seem to detour her much and when she comes back to the room, she has another glass of water but she does allow him to sit this one of the table before finishing it. She stays in the room with him, runs her fingers through his hair as he lays there, coughing a little bit sometimes but he doesn’t cough on her so she doesn’t complain.  A little time passes and then there is a knock at the door.

“Rogers doesn’t have a key yet?”

She asks as she starts to move off the bed and Clint gives an answer.

“Gave him one last week but he still likes to knock.”

“So polite.”

Natasha says this as she leaves the room and it is a bit of a tease but not a cruel one.  It doesn’t take long till Clint hears them coming closer to the bedroom, talk about how Clint is, how he should be looked after. It is sort of sweet and also kind of annoying and if everything didn’t hurt right now he would probably tell them that he can take care of himself but right now it might be nice having them fuss over him a bit.

“Hey, I’m going to leave but I’ll be back. Your boyfriend is here.”

Tasha says this as she leans closer to him for just a moment, squeezes his shoulder and then she moves, Steve basically switching spots with her.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

He asks, voice soft and gentle, and he settles down next to Clint on the bed, shoes already off and Clint lets him move him closer before he answers.

“I’m dying.”

He says it and he doesn’t get the eye roll like from Natasha, instead he gets a small amused smile as Steve speaks.

“I hope not, kind of like having you around.”

It is said lightly but it makes Clint feel warm in a way that he would love to blame on his fever.

“Good, I like being around.”

He says it and he is too sick to care how stupid it sounds. Steve just gives a small smile and tells him to sleep if he wants.  He ends up drifting in and out for a little bit, drinks the rest of the water and has to get up and pees but Steve doesn’t laugh as he stumbles to the bathroom, just tucks the blanket back around him and brushes a kiss against his forehead.

“You know, it is different being on this end of it, was very used to being the sick one, not the well one. “

He murmurs this and Clint just gives a little shrug as he coughs. Once he has stopped hacking out a lung, he snuggles a bit closer to Steve and croaks out a few words.

“I think you’re doing great as the well one, you’re less bossy than Natasha.”

Steve lets out a little chuckle.

“She has had quite a bit of practice of bossing you around, give me time I’m sure I can improve, maybe she will give me tips.”

“I can give you tips and no matter what he says, he likes when I’m bossy.”

Nat is in the doorway now, a few things in her arms and Clint isn’t surprised that she managed to make her way inside without him really noticing it and if Steve is surprised, he is hiding it well.

“That’s true enough. You bring me presents?”

He says this and Natasha moves towards the bed and deposits the items there as she speaks.

“In a manner of speaking, some cold medicine , cough drops,  there is tea and food in the kitchen now, and I also thought a bath might be a good idea so stopped by my place and got you the bath salts I usually have to hide from you.”

“The spearmint ones?”

Clint asks and he loves the damn things, just always ends up using too many and so she hides them and rations them out on special occasions like now when he is dying of a cold. She gives a little nod.

“I’ll go run you a bath. Make him take some cold medicine”

She says this and then makes her way to the bathroom, Steve doing as she says and making sure Clint takes some medicine and drinks some more water. Soon enough Clint finds himself soaking in the tub, Nat and Steve off to the kitchen, saying something about maybe getting some food ready.   The warm water and bath salts helps ease some of the soreness in his muscles and the medicine is starting to kick in.  He knows that he has been in the bath for a while and he  decides to get out himself without calling someone to help. He gets out of it and lets it drain, dries himself off, and walks into the bedroom. There are already clean clothes laid out for him on the bed, old worn sweats and a t-shirt that Clint pretty sure is really Steve’s. It doesn’t matter and he likes the feel of it as he pulls it on, makes his way to the kitchen and he stops a few steps away from the entryway when he sees  Nat and Steve there.

They aren’t really doing much, just working on some food, Steve flipping what  looks like grilled cheese in a pan next to a pot of soup while Nat gets down plates and bowels but it is just nice to see them like this.  They are talking a little bit, he can hear Natasha telling Steve about the last time he was sick and Steve asking a few questions and Clint likes how they seem comfortable right now, comfortable in his space, comfortable with each other.  They are his favorite people and it is wonderful to have them both here with him.  He just watches them for a moment long before a cough escapes him and it draws their attention to him.

“Come sit down. Feel up to food in a bit ?”

Steve asks and he moves away from the stove to come over to Clint. Natasha simply moves out of his way as she sets the plates down and goes to the stove to take over Steve’s apparent cooking duties.

“I think I could eat.”

“Good, food will be ready in a bit, tomato soup and grilled cheese, not quite like what we had in Chicago after the Johnson job but probably close.”

Natasha says this as she stirs the soup and Clint remembers just what she is talking about.

“That meal was almost worth the concussion and knife wound.”

Clint murmurs this with just a hint of wistfulness and Steve stares at him in just a little bit of mild shock.

“Am I allowed to know this story or is it classified?”

He asks and the next few minutes are spent explaining to Steve about the Johnson job, Tasha filling in details as well so that Clint doesn’t have to talk the whole time.  The food is done by the time the story is done and they eat, a little conversation scattered throughout. Once that is done, Clint finds himself on the couch, head in Nat’s lap, feet on Steve, and a blanket thrown over him. The tv is turned on, _History at the_ _Museum_ and Clint is pretty sure Natasha turns it to that because it is something that she can tolerate while Clint loves it.  Steve seems to like it too, gets involved with watching it  and is pretty quiet but he puts his hands on Clint’s ankles and he can feel the little circles that he is rubbing.  That and Natasha stroking his hair makes it a bit difficult to stay awake and he finds himself drifting off.

He is jolted out of sleep when he is moved, wakes up as Steve picks him up but he doesn’t try to move out of Steve’s arms, just nuzzles his nose against Steve’s neck as he mumbles.

“I don wanna move, was so comfy.”

It is a whine, Clint knows it is a whine, but damn it, he was comfy.

“It is late and you will probably get better sleep in your bed.”

Nat says this, voice just a bit sleepy but calm and he doesn’t say anything till he is placed on the bed.

“Stay, both of you please stay.”

He wants them both with him right now.

“No problem, try not to cough on me in your sleep.”

Tasha says this and she is moving to Clint’s dresser, grabs some of her spare sleeping clothes that are here and starts changing. Steve averts his eyes but doesn’t look uncomfortable at her doing this and speaks to her without looking at her.

“If you want to take the bed with him, I’ll take the couch.”

Steve says this and Clint knows those words aren’t for him but he still replies to him.

“You don’t have to do that, you can fit in a bed with two other people.”

Steve can fit in a bed with others, Clint knows enough about his time with Bucky and Peggy to know this and he looks like he isn’t sure what to say to that. Nat seems to know what Clint wants because she  is fully dressed again and takes a step towards the bed.

“You can fit and you should stay in here, can keep Clint warm if steal the blankets again.”

“Alright.”

Steve says this after Natasha’s words and he turns to put on his own sleep clothes. Natasha settles down on one side of Clint, leaving the other side for Steve.  He lays down after a few moments and Clint lays with his head on Steve’s chest, Nat at his side. He feels warm and safe, his favorite people surrounding him, and as he drifts off to sleep, he thinks about how right this feels and how maybe this is how it should be sometimes.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a bit more, hope people are enjoying.

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After his cold, Clint can’t quite get the idea of Steve and Natasha together out of his head. It is an idea he has had before but now that he has seen them interact in those quiet moments in the kitchen, laid in between them, it is much more prevalent.  They could be so good for each other, Clint knows this but the hard part is going to be getting them to see that and ironing out the kinks. He isn’t quite sure how to broach the idea of it with them so he tries to figure out a way to talk to them about it and he decides to try to bring it up with Steve first.

“So what do you think of Nat?”

He asks while they are enjoying a  bit of down time, tv playing but neither of them paying much attention to it, Steve with a sketch book and Clint cleaning one of his bows. Steve looks over at him for a moment but doesn’t stop drawing.

“Like in what way, like as a person, an agent?”

He asks and Clint just gives a bit of a shrug as he answers.

“Either of those but I also meant like as a woman, like you do find her attractive, would you want to do things with her?”

He says it simply and Steve puts the sketchbook down now, just stares at Clint for a long moment before he says anything, an almost blush.

“I’m not really sure how to talk about that, I mean you and Natasha are..”

Clint interrupts him before he can say anything more.

“We’re not dating, not really, you know that.”

Steve rolls his eyes just a bit.

“Maybe you guys don’t consider yourselves dating but you are definitely something and I’m  not sure if I should talk about her attractiveness with you. I mean, technically  I never dated Peggy or Bucky but we were definitely a thing and I didn’t want to hear just anybody talking about their looks.”

Clint gets his point but he just gives a bit of a grin now.

“You’re not just anybody, Steve, you’re my boyfriend and I think it is all right if you tell me whether you find her attractive or not. Maybe I want us all to do something sometime.”

 He wiggles his eyebrows just a bit with those last words and Steve rolls his eyes again but he seems to relax just a bit.

“Ok, I do think she is beautiful and I wouldn’t mind being with her like that, her and me and you, but I don’t think I know her much at all, I don’t think she lets me know her. I’m not sure what to think of her sometimes but I know you love her.  I could be with her for a night  for you, if that is something you want, if that is something she wants.“

Steve’s words are honest and a bit sweet and Clint gives him a small smile and a kiss for them.

“I’ll keep that in mind, not planning anything right now, was just curious.”

He drops the subject of what Steve might think of Natasha for now, needs to get a read on what she thinks about Steve before trying to proceed much further.  He spends the rest of the evening just being with Steve and he gets his chance to talk to Nat about a week after his talk with Steve.

They are at her place, watching a movie, Nat snuggled up against him and her hand ends up under his shirt, pulls it up a bit, looks at the sketch that is on his skin right now.

“I like seeing what he’s drawn on you. Have you decided on one yet?”

She asks as she traces her fingers on the orange and yellow swirls that are there right now.  It really is mostly just swirls right now, more of a design than really looking like anything but it reminds Clint a bit of the sun and he shakes his head at her question as he looks down at the design.

“Not yet, might not pick one, kind of like him drawing on me and he enjoys it too.”

“He’s good at it, has steady hands to get the details down so well.’

She says this and it is a compliment and it gives Clint an opening.

“I know you like steady hands. You think about Steve’s hands sometimes?”

It is maybe a bit of a crass way to bring it up but Nat just rolls her eyes a bit as she answers.

“I just figure he is probably good with his hands, you like him a lot after all and I’m sure not all of that has to do with him wooing you though I’m sure that has something to do with it.”

Her voice is just a bit teasing and she doesn’t answer his question really but he just gives her a bit of a grin and responds to the teasing.

“He is good with his hands, maybe you should spend some more time with him, find out if you want.”

She keeps tracing the swirls as she speaks and he leans in a bit to her touch. 

“You trying to set me up with your boyfriend? Don’t think I’m his type.”

“He likes women too you know.”

He says this and she shakes her head just a bit.

“Not what I meant. Think I might be a bit different than what Rogers might want or need. I don’t know if he can quite deal with broken.”

She smiles at him but it has just a bit of edge to it and he hates when she refers to herself like that but he doesn’t try to correct her.  She has worked through a lot over the years but sometimes there are things that she still has to work through and Clint just does his best to help her.

“He does well with broken, handles me just fine.”

It is supposed to be a reassurance, let her know that if she wants to get to know Steve, wants to let Steve get to know her, that Clint thinks it could work. He isn’t sure if she takes it as that but she gives him another smile and this one doesn’t have the edge of the other one.

“You’re not broken, you’re a mess. “

Her hand moves away from the swirls now, moves up to his hair and fingers tangle in it.

“I’m a mess but I’m your mess.”

He says this and she grins a bit as she speaks.

“Mine and Rogers, hasn’t been too bad sharing you with him, think I can keep it up for quite a while.”

It is nice, how she says this, and Clint is glad that she approves of Steve for him but he just wishes that she would allow herself to get to know him too. He knows not to push too much so he just leans forward and brushes a kiss against her cheek.

“Good. Hey, guess what I think I saw on Fury’s desk the other day?”

It is a change of subject but Natasha just goes with it and asks what.

“Knitting quarterly. He hasn’t canceled the subscription yet.”

The subscription to that magazine is part of their get Fury more hobbies plan and it has been a few months and Fury either can’t be bothered to cancel it or doesn’t care that he is getting knitting magazines and Clint will consider either a bit of a win.  

“We can renew it for him for Christmas.”

Natasha says this with a completely serious face and Clint smiles and brushes another kiss against her check. They spend their day together and Clint doesn’t bring up Steve much more.  He wants the three of them together but he doesn’t want it to just be for him and he thinks he can wait for it.  It will be worth the wait.

::::::::::::::::

Clint has a mission soon, heads out for it in a few hours, and is getting ready  when his phone buzzes.  It is just a text and when he opens it up, he finds a message from Nat _._

_got a mission with your boyfriend, just picked up and got to base. think he made a friend. he’s cute._

Clint types out his reply quickly, doesn’t see the sense in keeping Nat waiting.

_Steve is pretty cute, thanks for noticing_

He  is pretty sure she isn’t referring to Steve but wants to know for sure, is wondering why she is telling him this.

_not who I was talking about_

The confirmation comes quickly enough and he types out a quick reply to try to figure out what is going on.

_ok, so Steve’s new friend is cute. what does it matter?_

_just thought you should know your boyfriend  might have made a friend, a cute one got to go_

This is what she sends him and Clint still isn’t sure why she has told him about this. He understands Nat better than most people but he doesn’t always get her reasons for doing things and she could have a lot of reasons for this. She could possibly be slightly interested in Steve’s friend and wants Clint to know about it, may think Steve might be interested in this person, and probably a large number of other reasons that Clint has no idea about.  He has been waiting and watching to see if there could be something between her and Steve and he isn’t sure if her talking about Steve’s cute new friend is a sign that it won’t happen or that maybe it could. He will figure it out  later, for now he puts his phone in his pocket and gets ready.  Soon enough it is several hours later and Clint is halfway across the country.

The mission is a pretty simple one, mostly watching and observing other agents do some work, providing backup if needed and he is in a bit of downtime when he feels his phone buzz again.  It isn’t a risk to answer it right now so checks it and there is a message from Nat there again.

_Rogers is not happy with me and probably fury you should talk to him when there is a chance_

There is a bit of an uneasy feeling in Clint’s stomach and he types out a message quickly.

_Is it mission related, did something go wrong the other day?_

_I did my mission but I don’t think he sees it that way_

Those words give Clint a good idea of what may have happened and he is going to have to talk to Steve soon, get a feel of what is going on but right now he texts Natasha again.

_you need to talk?_

It is an offer he isn’t sure he will be taken up on and soon enough he gets his message.

_i’m fine talk to your boyfriend_

He just texts her an ok now, knows her well enough to know that she doesn’t want to talk about this more right now. She probably only told him because she is worried that any negative feelings towards her that Steve might feel right now may bleed over to him and this is her way of trying to protect him.  He will talk to her about this later, when there is time, but for now he sends a small message to Steve right now.

_Have time to talk. Want me to call?_

It doesn’t take long till there is a responding message

_You can call_

That is all Clint needs and he dials Steve’s number right away.  It only takes a few rings before Steve is picking up and Clint speaks first.

“Hey, how are things going? Day go ok?”

Clint isn’t quite sure how to start this conversation and this might be the easiest way.

“Are you really calling while on a mission to ask how my day went?”

There is a hint of amusement in Steve’s voice but also a bit of exhaustion and tension. Something is bothering him and if Nat is right then it is about the mission and so Clint just gets straight to it.

“No, not really. Nat got ahold of me, said you might be upset with her, with Fury for the mission the other day, and I wanted to see how you are doing, if you want to talk about it.”

There is a pause for just a moment before Steve speaks and his voice is just a bit uncertain .

“Not sure if it will help,  have to think over a few things. I know you trust them so I won’t ask you that but I do want to know are you happy in SHIELD? ”

Clint thinks about it for a few seconds before giving Steve the most honest answer he can.

“I’m not unhappy, don’t always agree with everything, but SHIELD gave me a chance, Fury gave me a chance.   I feel like I’m doing a bit of good but secret ops and things like that aren’t for everyone. You thinking of quitting?”

He asks now, needs to know and Steve answers after a moment’s pause.

“Maybe, not sure yet. Want to talk it over with you once you’re back, don’t want things to change between us but not sure about things at work right now.”

This reassures Clint that things are alright between the two of them and he asks a question.

“You talk to anyone else about this yet? Might help to hash it out with someone else before I get back.”

“Visiting Peggy in a bit, will see  if she is up to talking, talked it over with Sam a tiny bit.’

Clint doesn’t know that name but he has an idea of who it might be so he asks.

“Sam? Is that the friend Nat told me she thinks you made?”

Clint leaves out the part where Nat called him cute, figures they can talk about that later.

“Met him jogging, good guy, needed someone to talk to you and he seemed willing. Gave me some advice, still thinking it over. “

Steve says this and they talk about it a bit, about what Sam said, Clint adding his own opinion. They should probably hang up soon, Clint needs to check his vantage point again, but he says one more thing to Steve before he gets off the phone.

“Whatever you decide to do, I’ll do my best to be there for you. Love you, ok?”

It is maybe a bit mushy to say that right now but he Steve needs it and he can hear a bit of fondness and relief in Steve’s voice as he speaks.

“Love you, too. Be safe.”

And with that they say their good byes and hang up. Clint hopes that they can figure out what Steve needs but he can worry about that later, right now he makes himself go back into mission mode and it really isn’t too hard of a mission. The newbies do well enough and several hours later, it is over and they are in the safe house.  It all seems fine expect for when their transportation doesn’t show up.  Something has happened, Clint will figure out what later, for now he works on getting them all back to the states and then he will figure out what is going on.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some more and comments would be awesome because I'm really happy with this fic so far and would like to know if others are enjoying it too.

::::::::::::::::

Clint has gotten a couple messages since he got his team home, since SHIELD fell and it turns out he may have been working for Hydra, and he knows where each one came from even if the numbers are different than they usually are. When he gets himself out of the way, he responds to each one and then gets ready to meet up with people.  His first instinct is to go to Steve and Natasha right away but he knows that he needs to check in with someone else first.

It isn’t a difficult spot to find, the coordinates he was sent, and it doesn’t take Clint too long to get there.  He sends a text as  he walks in, knows better than to just walk in with out announcing his presence. He walks into the open space of the warehouse and just waits a few minutes and it doesn’t take long till he isn’t alone, someone walking down the stairs from the second floor. His arm is in a sling, Clint can see some bruising along his face, and there is just a little bit of a limp in his step but Nick Fury is still standing and Clint sometimes thinks nothing can take him down.

“Good to see you in one piece more or less, sir.”

The sir is habit by this point and Fury just gives a small nod  as he moves closer to Clint.

“Can say the same for you, Barton.”

“I occasionally have good luck and this was one of those times. Managed to make it out ok but I guess I’m unemployed now.”

Clint says this and Fury has just a hint of apology on his face as he speaks again.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m unemployed and techniquely dead.”

“You planning on changing that last part any time soon?”

Clint asks but he thinks he may already know the answer.  Fury shakes his head and then speaks.

“Not yet. I have some work to do that will be easier if I’m off the grid.  Might need some help with that. You interested?”

It isn’t a surprising offer, not really, but it is one Clint isn’t sure he can take right now.  

“I think I have some people I need to catch up with first, other things to see to. You ask anyone else yet?”

“Asked Rogers and Wilson, Rogers has something he needs to take care of, Wilson is following his lead. You haven’t met Wilson yet, have you?”

Clint shakes his head.

“No, but I have heard about him, heard he’s cute.”

Fury just gives Clint a long look before shrugging just a bit.

“Not sure about that but he handled himself well when everything went belly up, why I asked him to join up but he’s sticking with Rogers for now. You’ll probably meet him soon.”

Clint gives a nod and asks another question.

“You ask Nat?”

“I didn’t really ask her, talked to her about it. She’s not coming with me but she is keeping contact in case I need her. She has a bit to deal with, to figure out, and I’m going to give her a chance to do so. She deserves that.”

Fury says all of this and Clint agrees with it all. She showed her secrets to the world,  showed all the red that covers her hands, burnt all the masks she had, and it is going to take her a while to adjust, to figure herself out now.  Clint will be there for her, if she wants him there, and it is why he gives an answer to Fury now about his question earlier.

“She does. I can’t go with you but I’ll stay in touch, be back up when needed. I have others I need to be with right now.”

There is acceptance in Fury’s eyes, like he knew that this was always going to be Clint’s answer and he gives a little nod as he speaks.

“I figured you would have a few more priorities  to deal with.  If things get too complicated and you need a break, let me know, ok?”

“Will do.”

The conversation is almost over but not quite and Fury takes a step closer to him now, put his uninjured hand on Clint’s shoulder.

“ Just keep it in mind, things will probably get complicated for you. Do you know who Rogers is looking for?”

There is just a hint of concern in his voice and Clint gives a nod.

“Yep. Apparently, there is  a resurgence in soldiers from the 40’s, they made them very durable back then.”

 It is a joke, not a very good one, but sometimes Clint needs to joke a bit about things like this. It is still a bit crazy, the winter soldier is Bucky Barnes and  Clint knows that Steve must be going through a hell of a lot right now.  It is complicated situation and Clint isn’t even sure how complicated it is going to get but he isn’t going to walk away from Steve till Steve wants him to.  Fury gives a hint of a smile, one that is a bit more exasperated than amused but for Fury it isn’t that bad of a look, and a squeeze on Clint’s shoulder before he moves his hand away.

“Just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into.  I’ll be in touch. Take care of yourself, Clint.”

He says this and Clint gives a little smile now.

“You do the same, Nick, and if you need me, call.”

He gives a salute as he says this and Fury rolls his eyes a bit but he does walk Clint towards the door now, gives him a bit of information about his plans, how Clint can get ahold of him if needed and when Clint leaves, he feels like they are leaving on good terms.  It is good that Fury is going to be out there, fighting even if he doesn’t have the same resources that he used to, and Clint will help him when he can but right now, he  needs to go see Steve and Nat and see what he needs to do for them.

::::::::::::::::

It is only a few hours after talking to Fury that Clint finds himself going to another address, one sent by Nat and it is somewhere he has never been to but it is different than the location that he met Fury at. It is in a residential area for one thing, a well maintained building, and the door he is looking for isn’t that hard to find. This is someone’s home, Clint can tell that much, and he has an idea of whose it might be and he reaches forward and knocks at the door.  It doesn’t take long for the door to be opened, a man standing there and Clint says what his last message said to say.

“I was told to tell you on your left.”

The text came from Nat but she said that it was Steve’s instruction and the man who has opened the door rolls his eyes a bit.

“Of course you were. You must be Clint Barton then. Sam Wilson, nice to meet you.”

The man gives a bit of a grin now as he holds a hand out for a shake and Natasha was right, he is cute. Clint takes his hand, gives it a shake and returns the sentiments.

“Nice to meet you as well. So you were expecting me.”

Sam gives a nod, gestures for Clint to follow him inside and he does so as Sam speaks.

“Yep, they told me that they got a hold of you, needed to talk to you before we got started.  Probably should get at least a good night’s worth of sleep as well before we really get into it, been a bit of a weird week. “

“I bet it was, I would say the next few weeks would be less weird but that might end up being a lie.”

Clint says this and Sam just gives a little shrug and a smile.

“At least it shouldn’t be boring. And here we are.”

They are entering what looks like a living room and there at the table are Nat and Steve and the worry Clint wouldn’t admit to himself he had eases. It is one thing to know that they are ok and to finally see it with his own eyes and he tries not to be too mushy right now, just says the first thing that comes to mind.

“You both were a bit busy while I was gone, overthrowing SHIELD, government hearings, were you that bored?’

Nat is the one to get up first, comes over and gives little shrug as she moves close enough to brush her shoulder against his for just a moment.

“It seemed like a way to pass the time.  How was your trip?”

Clint gives his own shrug now.

“Not that bad,  my ride was late, had to find another. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Natasha just gives him a little smile and a nod before moving just a bit so Steve can come over to him. He is expecting some form of physical contact but the way Steve pulls him close and brushes a kiss against his lips is a little bit more than he was expecting.  Steve holds him tight right now and Clint just lets him.

“I was worried about things, so glad that you’re here.”

Steve says this and Clint doesn’t ask what he was worried about, knows that it could have been so many things and he just leans into Steve a little bit more now.

“Don’t worry, you’re stuck with me still.”

“Good.”

There is another kiss and it is good, nice to be here with Steve, Natasha near by and a moment passes before another voice speaks, breaking the moment just a bit.

“I’ll go get some food started, leave you three alone for a bit.  Food might be good before we get a game plan going. “

Sam says this simply and starts to walk out of the living room, gesturing for them to stay there.  Clint waits a few moments before turning to Natasha and speaking plainly.

“You’re right by the way.”

He gives a little nod to where Sam has walked off to so that she will know what he is referring to and she gives a little smile.

“I usually am.  We should sit down, talk about a few things.”

She gestures to the couch and the three of them go there, Clint settling in the middle, Nat and Steve either side of him and it is good to be back with them. Steve has an arm around Clint’s shoulders and Nat curls next to him and Clint is the first one to speak.

“Sorry I couldn’t help out before.”

He says this and he means it . He’s sorry he wasn’t here to help them, sorry that SHIELD was dirty and he didn’t know and they just both give him a look for a moment and Nat brushes a kiss against his cheek.

“You didn’t know we would need you and you’re here now. “

He gives her a little smile now.

“I’m here but things are still a mess.”

He says this and he can feel Steve shift just a bit closer.

“They are. I need to find Bucky but you don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. That goes for both of you.”

Steve says this and Nat leans over Clint just a bit to put a hand on Steve’s shoulder for just a moment as she speaks.

“Have to figure a few things out but I will help when I can, already told you that.”

Steve gives a little nod at her words and Natasha  moves her hand off of his shoulder. Clint makes sure he is looking Steve straight in the eyes as he gives an answer to the unspoken question.

“I’m helping you to look for him, he needs to be found. Besides, Barnes was  my favorite commando growing up. “

His answer gets him a quiet chuckle from Nat and a bit of a raised eyebrow from Steve.

“Bucky was your favorite?”

He asks and Clint gives a nod.

“No offence, you’re awesome and obviously I love you, but he’s a sniper, one of the best ever, he had to be my favorite. I’m going to help you find him.”

It is true, he always admired Barnes and he wants to help him, needs to help him.  Some of it is for Steve but not all of it, some of it is just because Clint knows what it is like to have your brain twisted around and he needs to help Barnes. 

“Thanks. “

Steve says it simply  and Clint brushes a kiss against his cheek.

“You know he won’t be easy to find, we have looked for him before.”

Clint says this and Steve just gives a small nod.

“Natasha told me about that, about Odessa. “

Clint turns and looks at Nat now.

“You told him about that?”

There is another question under that one and Nat hears it and answers both.

“Told him about that, need to tell him a bit more now.”

Steve looks over at Natasha now, something in his expression but it isn’t really weariness or distrust, more of an understanding look, a curious look and Clint thinks that they may have worked out some of their problems now.  Nat takes a breath, waits just a moment and then speaks, voice steady.

“It is in some of my files, not the ones that SHIED had but some of the red room ones, the ones I dug up but I don’t think you have had a chance to look over all of those yet. Clint already knows, told him a long time ago, but I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it would matter.  Odessa wasn’t the first time I saw the soldier, the first time was years before that, when I was still training. “

Steve looks at her but he doesn’t say anything yet and Natasha keeps speaking, Clint holding her just a bit tighter.

“He taught me, it was only a couple of months and I was still young but he was kind to me, kinder than a lot of my teachers. He didn’t stay long and the next time I saw him he didn’t remember me.  I never said much about it, he’s been broken many times, more than me, but I knew him once, want to help but it might not be as simple as you want it to be.”

Clint holds her close right now, brushes a kiss against her forehead. He hates when she refers to herself as broken but he knows not to argue with her about it, just offers support when he can.  They are all a bit broken after all and Steve seems to get that as well, just leans in a bit, stretches an arm out and Nat lets him take her hand, lets him squeeze it for just a moment.

“Nothing’s simple, not anymore, but we will face that when we have to. We’ll figure it out.”

When Steve says it, he sounds so sure of it and it is easy to see why so many people have followed him before.

“We will, we should go over our resources soon. A lot of my covers have been burnt but there are still a few that may not have been burnt with SHIELD.  What about you?”

Nat asks this, draws them both back to the matter at hand, and they go over a few things now, talk about who they can get ahold of, any safe places. It is just a brief discussion since a few minutes into it, Sam shows back up in the living room.

“If you guys are going over the game plan, we can do it with food now, just need to move to the kitchen.”

 He says this simply, doesn’t comment on how close they are all sitting to each other but Clint knows he is paying attention to it. They will probably need to explain their various connections to him soon but right now they just all move to the kitchen, eat some food and discuss ideas of how to go about things.  Sam doesn’t stay silent during the discussion, asks his own questions and puts in his own ideas and Clint can see that he is going to be good to have around even if he hasn’t really dealt with these sort of situations before.  He’s also a pretty good host, offering towels up if they want to clean up, letting Clint know where the spare bedding is.

“You’re all welcome to stay the night, might be easier but I only have the one spare bed but there is plenty of floor and a couch if one of you want it.  Up to you guys.”

He says this and Clint just gives a little nod as Nat is the one to speak.

“We’ll stay and we’ll make do. Thanks, Sam.”

Sam gives a little smile and has a bit of teasing in his voice now.

“No problem but one of you is getting us breakfast tomorrow, doughnuts and coffee preferably. Going to turn in now, think you guys know where stuff is. Try not to wake me up for a while, need some beauty sleep after the last few days.”

He says this as he heads to his own room and they all tell him good night and then go to the spare room.  Nothing is really said as they all get into night clothes and before Clint can really ask if they are going to share the bed, Nat is leading both him and Steve over.

“It might be a tighter fit than Clint’s bed, but we can make it work for tonight.”

They don’t argure with her, just settle in the bed, Clint in the middle like before but it is a bit different this time, Nat throws her arm across him and lets it settle on Steve and Steve doesn’t move away from it.

“So you guys seem a bit more comfortable around each other now. “

He says is, needs to know just a bit and Steve answers his unspoken  question.

“We have come to a bit of an understanding, trying to get to know each other a bit more. Not sure where it will lead yet.”

Clint has to smile at this and Nat rolls her eyes just a bit.

“You won’t have to pay match maker anymore, we are just going to see if there is anything here, besides you need both of us to keep  you in line anyway, might as well team up.”

 She gives the explanation and Clint just grins at it a bit more.

“Won’t argue if you guys want to team up. Hey, just let me know when you guys start kissing, might want to see that.”

It is a little teasing but he doesn’t quite expect the bit of embarrassment that covers Steve’s face for  a moment.

“We’ve already kissed.”

He says it and Clint looks over at him with a bit of surprise and then at Nat who just shakes her head a bit.

“PDA distraction for Strike while they were looking for us.  Doesn’t count.”

“Oh, you’re right that totally doesn’t count.”

Clint agrees with Nat and Steve looks like he might say something to disagree with it but before he can get words out, Nat is leaning over  and brushing lips against his for a moment before pulling away.  Steve looks surprised but not upset as Natasha gives  a bit of a grin.

“Now we have kissed. No more tonight though, time for sleep.”

Her voice holds no room for argument and so neither of them say anything, just lay there and try to get some rest. They are all in one piece, all together and that is good enough for Clint right now.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a little bit more, hope you enjoy . Comments would be awesome.

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”Your car is nice.”

It is the first thing Clint can think to say as he settles into the passenger seat, Sam taking the driver’s seat. They are going to a place he  knows to get doughnuts and Clint has offered to pay. He figures it will be good to get a chance to talk to Sam just the two of them, get to know him a bit.  Sam just gives a little shrug as he starts the car.

“Not actually mine. A rental till I can get a new one. My old one is not drivable anymore.”

“A  result of your adventure with Steve and Nat I take it?”

He asks and gets a little nod as Sam starts driving.

“Yep. Had the steering wheel ripped straight out of my hands. Not fun.”

“Can’t say I have ever had that happen. I’m guessing it was from a run in with Barnes.”

He says this and it really is more than a guess. That metal arm can do a lot of damage more than likely and Clint already knows that there was a confrontation with him on the highway.  Sam just gives a little nod.

“Still not sure if my insurance is going to cover it, I may not have run ins with a super soldier in my plan. I didn’t think it would come up that often so didn’t really seek out a plan that would cover it, thought it would be better to have the free towing.”

His tone is light and Clint can appreciate someone who can joke about their almost death experiences.

“Free towing is a good one to have.  I think I’m going to have to look for new insurance, SHIELD provided it for me but  well, we know what happened to that.”

“Guess you all are unemployed now, might have to find new careers. I already suggested MMA fighting to Steve, don’t really have much of an idea of what you and Natasha can do yet.  What did you do before SHIELD?”

Sam asks now and Clint won’t lie about it.

“Free lance work of an unsavory variety, it is how Fury found me.”

“And before that?”

“Was with a circus, world’s best marksman.  Did that since I was about 11, brother and I ran away from foster care to join it.”

He says this and Sam turns his eyes from the road for just a moment to look at Clint.

“That’s not a joke, is it? “

Clint just grins.

“Not a joke at all, I have an old poster I can show you sometime. Or you can ask Steve to show you on his phone if he still has it, he loves showing a picture of the poster to people.”

“Ok, I believe you, may still ask to see the pic later though, just for curiosity’s sake.”

Sam says this and then there is a comfortable silence for just a moment before Sam speaks again.

“So just let me know if I’m getting out of line with this, but do you mind me asking what is going on with the three of you? I mean, I know you and Steve are dating, him telling me you’re his boyfriend before we met and the kisses yesterday were a bit of a tip off but is there something between you and Natasha as well?”

He asks and Clint has been waiting for this since last night, is just glad that he doesn’t have to wait a long time to give Sam a bit of an explanation.

“There’s something between us but we don’t really consider ourselves dating.  We care for each other but Natasha doesn’t date, not like other people do, it is a bit complicated for her but what we have works for us. ”

It is the best way to explain it though he doesn’t go into too many details, details are for Natasha to give if she wants to and Sam doesn’t really push for too many right now, just asks another question.

“So it is you and her, and you and Steve, is there something between them?”

“They are working on figuring that out. The three of us are a little complicated but it is working right now so I’m going along with it.”

Clint says this and Sam just gives a little nod, looks over to him.

“Hey, if it works for you guys then it works for you guys, just wanted to know what was going on so I didn’t say anything weird or something.”

“What about you, you got any one special right now?”

Sam just shakes his head.

“Not currently but I have before. You know the last person to ask me about that was my mom but she didn’t mention it last time we talked.  That conversation was much more focused on my hanging out with Captain America and almost getting killed and her finding out about it on the news. That was a fun talk.”

Clint lets out a little chuckle at Sam’s expression right now, a sort of pained acceptance.

“I bet. You and your mom close?”

He asks now and Sam gives a  little bit of a nod.

“I suppose so, keep in contact and all. Dad’s not around anymore so I like to check in when I can though my sister is still closer to her. So you said you have a brother, you guys close?”

Sam asks now and Clint takes  just a moment before answering.

“Not really, I mean things were worse between us once so it is better than it was but it is a bit complicated.”

Complicated is the best way to describe his relationship with Barney. He isn’t trying to kill Clint like he did once but they don’t really talk much but Clint keep tabs when he can and last he checked, Barney is doing ok, trying to settle down and that is good enough for Clint.

“You’re using complicated a lot. Is that just how your life is?”

Sam asks with just a bit of a smile and Clint returns the smile as he shrugs.

“I guess so.  But complicated isn’t always bad so I’ll take it.”

“Hey, whatever works and you’re right complicated isn’t bad.  Now, remember you’re paying.”

Sam says this and they are pulling into a small parking lot next to a little bakery. Clint just gives a nod as the car stops, gets out and follows Sam in. They get a ridiculous amount of pastries and several  coffees and the ride back is filled with conversation just like the ride there was and Clint feels like he has a feel for Sam now so it is a good start to the day.

::::::::::::::::

 “I need to go somewhere for a few days, have something I need to do.”

Natasha says this to Clint now, the two of them alone  right now in his apartment and he looks at her, asks something that he knows she won’t ask.

“I can come with you, you want me to?”

She thinks about it for only a moment before she gives an answer.

“I shouldn’t run into trouble but it might be good to have you there. I have almost everything arranged, want to leave tonight. Can you do that?”

Clint isn’t surprised that everything is almost ready, when Nat decides she needs to do something she gets it done. He just gives a nod.

“Should be, need to let Steve know what is going on, just let me know where to meet you. I’ll get packed and everything.”

“You’re not going to ask me what we’re doing?”

She asks with just a little smile and Clint gives a shrug.

“Don’t really feel the need, you’ll tell me what I need to know.  I trust you.”

He’s told her before and it isn’t any less true now. She gives him another smile and leans over and brushes a kiss against his cheek.

“I trust you too, already told Steve last night that I would need to head out for a few days but it will be good for you  to tell him that you’re coming along. It should be ok if it is just Sam and him for a few days. I’ll text you where we need to meet, you might want to make sure to have warm clothing. See you tonight.”

She says this and brushes another kiss against his cheek and then heads out the door. Clint just goes ahead and starts packing,  Steve should be by soon and he can tell him what is going on. It has only been about two weeks since they have started their search for Barnes and they haven’t really had too many leads yet and Clint hopes they find something soon for Steve but first he will help Natasha with this.  Steve shouldn’t mind, he understands that Nat is trying to understand herself and that Clint wants to  be there for her and he has been trying to help in his own way.  Steve and Natasha are growing closer and Clint enjoys watching it, lets them have some alone time together and it looks like things are going ok for the most part.

He has finished packing and is watching some bad tv when Steve comes in, a look on his face that lets Clint know that the lead he went to check on this morning was dead end and Clint just gives him a reassuring smile as he sits down next to him.

“We’ll find something soon, is just going to take a while. We’ll find him.”

Steve just nods his head.

“I know. Anything happen here?”

He asks and now is the time for Clint to tell him.

“Talked to Nat, she told me she already told you she needs to do something and I’m going with her. She wants to head out tonight, texted me a little while ago, think you’ll be ok?”

“I’ll manage without you for a little while but if you need me, let me know and I’ll make my way to where you guys are, ok?”

This is what Steve says and Clint leans forward and gives him a kiss.

“I promise if we need you, we’ll let you know but Nat doesn’t except trouble for this, I just think she doesn’t want to be alone.”

“Trouble sometimes finds you guys though.”

Steve says this with just a little teasing in his voice and Clint teases right back.

“It finds you too, must be why we all  get along.”

“Must be. Sam texted me earlier, wanted to know if we wanted to meet up for pizza in a couple of hours, can you make it or are you heading out before that?”

Steve asks now and Clint thinks about the timeline Nat gave him and he gives a nod after a moment.

“It should work, Nat has our transportation  arranged for late and you know I always say yes to pizza. Let me text Nat about it, can I invite her?”

He figures it will probably be alright but it is the polite thing to ask and Steve gives a little nod.

“Sure, I’ll let Sam know that we’ll show up.”

They both text  now and it doesn’t take that long for Clint to get a response from Natasha.

_Sam already told me, it is going to be at my place now, two hours from now, don’t be late_

It is simple and to the point and Clint isn’t really surprised that Sam got into contact with Nat. They seem to get along pretty well and Steve just tells him that Sam told him about the change in address and Clint just gives him a smile.

“Nat said not to be late but I’m already pack so I figure we can watch bad tv and make out for about an hour, sound like a plan?”

“So romantic.”

Steve says this dead pan, with a serious face but after just a moment he cracks a smile and leans forward and claims Clint’s mouth. They do spend the next hour watching bad tv and making out, actually a little longer but an hour but they aren’t late and Sam is already at Nat’s place when they show up, pizza there as well. It is an easy dinner, some talking and it is nice and he has a feeling Natasha wanted to see both Sam and Steve before they head out but he doesn’t say anything about it.  Dinner is soon over and they need to head out soon and Sam gives his good byes soon.

“Well, hope your trip goes well, bring me a souvenir if you can.”

“You don’t even know where we are going.”

Clint says this to Sam and Sam just gives a shrug and a smirk.

“So? You can still get me a souvenir, I’m sure wherever you’re going has postcards or snow globes somewhere. “

“I’ll bring you back something, try to stay out of trouble while we’re gone.”

Nat says this and Sam gives another shrug.

“I’ll try but no promises. I’ll leave you three alone now, have a safe trip. Get ahold of me if you need me, Steve.”

With that, Sam leaves and it is just the three of them. Steve reaches forward and grabs Clint, brushes a kiss against his lips.

“I meant what I said, call me if you need me.”

 

He says this to both of them as he pulls away from Clint. Natasha takes a step towards Steve now.

“We will. This won’t take long but it is something I need to do. I’ll tell you about it when I can.”

She says this to Steve and  then brushes a kiss against his lips.  Whatever they are doing, it is important to Nat but she isn’t quite ready to have Steve there yet. Steve seems to get this as he just simply puts a hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

“Ok, just try to be safe. Get ahold of me when you can.”

He gives Natasha a kiss on her check, gives Clint another kiss as well and then he leaves.

“We should head out, we have a long flight. You brought a coat, right?”

She asks and Clint gives a nod.

“Yep, Russia’s chilly usually. That is where we are going, right?”  
 He asks and Natasha just gives a little nod.

“It is but it shouldn’t cause any trouble, just some things I need to see.”

She doesn’t elaborate right now and Clint doesn’t ask her to.  She’ll tell him what they are going there for when she is ready, for now he just gives her a smile.

“Hey, even if there is trouble, we’ll handle it.  Now, let’s grab our stuff and get going.”

They do grab their things after that, leave Nat’s place and soon enough they are on a flight, seated right next to each other and Natasha leans her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. Clint  brushes a kiss against her hair and then closes his own eyes. It is going to be a long flight and they both will need the rest.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short chapter but I wanted to have the trip be its own chapter. hope you enjoy.

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When Clint agreed to go with Nat, he didn’t really have an idea of what it was she was wanting to see, figured it had something to do with her past, probably a base or something, but this wasn’t quite what he expected.   They are in a house,  a little run down house on the outskirts of a small Russian town, and Clint doesn’t even think it was a safe house or anything. For all appearances, it is just a regular old house that has been empty on and off throughout the years,  back on the market again and in fact the owner actually let them in just a little bit ago, told them to look as long as they want and then left them alone and Clint still isn’t quite sure why they are here but he follows Natasha as she looks around.

They are in a small bedroom now, Clint thinks it was probably used for kids at one point, and Natasha is looking at the door way they just walked through, running her hand over the door frame. There are marks on it, little scratches at random spots  and Clint thinks they might have been put there to measure height.  Natasha runs a finger over them and  she closes her eyes for just a moment, like she is trying to imagine something else before opening them again  and moving away from the door, moving to the window. It is quiet in the room and Clint decides to break the silence with a question.

“So I’m guessing we’re here because someone important lived here once so who lived here? ”

He asks and Natasha turns to him now.

“I did, a long time ago. Before the red room.  “

Before the red room was a short period in her life, they both know this, a short period that Natasha can’t really remember and Clint takes a step closer to her now, holds out a hand and she takes it. He gives it a gentle squeeze as he speaks.

“This might have been your room then. If it was, you had a nice view.”

He gestures to the window now and it is a pretty nice view, shows the yard and Natasha just gives a little smile.

“I can’t really remember much being here but I think it was ok most of the time, think I was happy but I don’t know for sure. Just wanted to see it, see if I felt anything being here. Not sure if I do.”

She says it with a bit of a shrug and Clint just gives her hand another squeeze. He has no idea what exactly she is thinking but he is going to do his best to be there for her and so he gives her a smile right now.

“Well, guess we should explore the rest of it then, see if anything makes an impression.”

She returns the smile and they spend some time exploring the house. They go to the yard, climb one of the trees, spend a little bit of time up there, and Natasha talks about the little bit that she does remember from the red room, just little snippets of things.

“I think they sang to me, both of them, can remember hearing songs and being spun around. I always loved dancing, it was my favorite cover and I think I loved it because of them but I don’t know for sure. “

She says this and there is a hint of longing in her voice and Clint realizes for the first time she is missing the things she could have had.  He reaches across the branch in-between them and takes her hand now, gives her a small smile.

“I bet they did dance. You had to get all your grace from somewhere.”

She returns the smile.

“I suppose so.  We should probably leave here soon, stay too long and it will be hard to connivance the relater that we aren’t going to buy. “

“We could buy it, if you want to. “

Clint says this now, offers it to her and she shakes her head just a bit.

“No, I just wanted to see it. Whatever this place was to me, it isn’t really anything now.  We should get out of this tree before you end up falling out of it.”

Clint just gives a nod and then they both climb down, head back to tell the realtor that they aren’t interested in making an offer. They soon find themselves back where they are staying and Natasha tells him about her plans for the morning.

“I looked up my parents earlier this week, they are gone now, have been for awhile but I’m going to the graves tomorrow. It just feels like something I need to do.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

He asks and he will go if she wants him to. Clint has only visited his own parent’s graves once but his situation is a bit different than Nat’s.  She doesn’t really remember much of her life of before, of what her parents were like, and she is just now allowing herself to mourn for them a bit, for what they might have been.  Clint knew his parents, knew his dad’s temper and his mom’s ignorance,  has scars from both of those things, and he didn’t really mourn them. He mourned what they could have been if his dad hadn’t drank so much and if his mom cared a bit more but it was hard to miss them when things had been so rough when he was young. At least he remembers his childhood, remembers his parents as crappy as they were but Natasha really doesn’t remember much and if she wants to mourn for it then Clint will be there for her.

“I think I need to go there by myself.”

She says this now and Clint just gives a little nod.

“Ok,  let me know in the morning if you change your mind.  Anything you want to do tonight?”

He asks her and they talk about what they can do. They end up staying in, ordering some food and just hanging out. It really isn’t that much different than a lot of their evenings together and Clint has a feeling that Natasha needs the familiarity right now and he gives it to her.  He holds her tight that night, brushes kisses against her hair and neither of them have nightmares that night.

The next morning dawns bright and Nat heads out soon after they wake up. Clint leaves for a bit as well, goes out and gets some coffee. He thinks briefly of following her but she would probably figure it out and she said she needed to go by herself so he doesn’t. He makes his way back to their room and spends his time watching tv and making up the plotlines in his head. He is thinking about maybe getting some lunch when Nat shows back up, a few hours after she left.  She comes into the room, calm and quiet , and one of the first things Clint notices is the dirt on her hands.  She speaks first.

“Hey, we can get some lunch in a bit, I need to wash up first.”

She goes to the bathroom now and Clint lets her, gives her a few minutes alone but he doesn’t hear water running so he goes into the bathroom now. She is sitting there, near the sink, just sitting and she looks up at him as he comes closer.

“Want some help?”

He asks now and she just gives a little nod. Clint gets a wash cloth now, wets it with some water, lathers up some soap and moves to Natasha. He takes her right hand first, starts gently rubbing the dirt off and he doesn’t say anything right now, waits for her to talk. After a few moments, she does.

“Their graves are near a chain link fence, near a tree but not under it. I brought flower but I couldn’t place them there when I first got there. There were too many weeds near them, it was hard to see the stones.”

Her voice doesn’t shake, she doesn’t shake but there is a sadness in the stillness of her and Clint is extra gentle now,  works the cloth over each finger softly as Natasha keeps speaking.

“No one had been there for a while, no one had taken care of the weeds. I thought maybe someone would have but no one did. They had no one to take care of their graves so I did it.”

He is done with her right hand and he gets up and turns the water on for a moment, rewets the wash cloth and she pause as he does so, starts again when he starts wiping her left hand.

“I pulled up the weeds, what I could, made it so you could see their names, made it look a bit better. I placed the flowers there then and just sat for a bit. It was quiet there, so quiet and lonely, not really anything there but graves.”

He pauses in his cleaning to look into her eyes now and she doesn’t look away from him, just stares right back at him, unwavering and it reminds him of the first time he looked in her eyes. They had both been young then and she hadn’t looked away then.  He had an arrow pointed  at her heart and she just stared right back at him. He had watched her for a long time before then, had seen little glimpses of kindness in her and he couldn’t kill her.  Clint had been given  a chance once and he wanted to give her one then and she took it. He had watched her clean blood off of her hands that night and now he is washing dirt off of her hands and it is strange how far they have come together.  She reaches her clean hand out now, puts it on his throat, near his pulse and she speaks, words soft but clear.

“The red room took a lot from me, things that I can’t get back, and today was a reminder of that. I can’t get my past back, the one I had before the red room, but I can hold onto what I have now.”

Her words sound like a promise and she leans forward and presses a brief kiss against his lips, moves her hand away from his pulse now.  There is still a bit of sadness about her right now but there is also something else, a little bit of hope in her eyes and Clint knows that she is going to be able to deal with all of this,  with figuring herself out a bit more and he goes back to cleaning her hand now.

“Like I said before you’re stuck with me, think you might be stuck with a few others too.”

He says this and she gives a little shrug now, a small smile.

“It isn’t so bad, having people around, something to hold onto. “

He has finished wiping her hand clean now and he puts the wash cloth down, grabs ahold of both of her hands and gives them a little squeeze.

“No, it isn’t. Need a few more moments?”

He asks, will give her all the time and she just gives a little nod. She just shared a lot with him and he knows her well enough to know that it is difficult for her sometimes so he just gives her a kiss against her forehead and leaves her in the bathroom for a few minutes.  She comes out after a bit, saying something about wanting food now and he just follows her out of their rooms.

The afternoon is basically a distraction in a lot of ways but Clint goes along with it. They get some lunch, play tourist a little bit, even stop by a souvenir shop and they get Sam the tackiest snow globe they can find and a pretty postcard for Steve. It is a decent way to spend the day and that night he hold her close and asks a question.

“Is there anywhere else you need to see?”

She shakes her head just a bit, leans into him more so he can feel the breath of her words against his skin as she talks.

“No, I want to head home tomorrow, see if Steve and Sam managed to stay out of trouble.”

Clint is happy with that answer, has missed Steve the last few days and gives her  a smile now.

“Home it is then.”

Tomorrow they will head back home, back to Steve and Clint is ready for it.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope people enjoy and there is a little bit of smut in this one.

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It has been about a week  and a half since they came back from Russia and there really haven’t been any solid leads yet and Steve is feeling a bit antsy. Clint can see it and he is trying to do his best to soothe it but it is affecting him a little bit as well. Natasha notices it and makes a comment about it one day as Clint is putting a shirt on, her hand coming to rest near the scar on his  hip. He twitches a bit at it and she shakes her head.

“It is bare, not even a shadow of everything. Might be time for Steve to draw on you again, might be good for both of you.”

She says this  and it has been a while since Steve has drawn a design on Clint. It had become a bit of a ritual for them before the fall of SHIELD and they just haven’t done it since then.

“Might not be a bad idea, he is coming over in a bit.”

He sends Steve a quick message asking him to bring over the markers and his  sketch book and Steve sends back a quick reply saying that he will.  He and Nat just hang out for a bit, start putting together a quick lunch that will be ready when Steve gets there.  He does get there and they sit down for lunch together, talk over a few things, possible leads for Barnes, random tv shows and eventually talk turns to Steve’s designs.

“You know which one you want today?”

Steve asks and Clint gives a shrug.

“Not sure. You want pick it out?”

He says this to Natasha who thinks about it for a moment before giving a nod and Steve hands her the book as they start cleaning up lunch.  She looks over it a bit before finally selecting one, showing it to Clint.  It is a tree, one with branches blooming, little purple flowers on them and it is one that Clint likes but hadn’t picked out yet and he gives a little smile.

“I like that one too. Think you’re up to drawing this on me today?”

He says this to Steve now, shows him the design that Nat picked out and Steve gives a little smile.

“I think I can, this one may take a little while, hope you don’t mind just laying down most of the afternoon. “

He says this, just a little bit of teasing in his voice and Clint returns it.

“I totally don’t mind spending a large portion of the day on my back for you. Usually my plans involve a bit more sweating though.”

Those words earn him a little bit of a chuckle from Steve and a smirk and eye roll from Natasha who looks at the sketch book for a moment again before speaking.

“Do you mind if I stay and watch you work? If I’m not intruding.”

The question is aimed at Steve but Clint has a feeling that it is also meant for him and he moves a bit closer to her now and brushes her shoulder with his, lets her know he is ok with her being there if Steve is. Steve seems to think about it for a moment before he gives a nod.

“I don’t know how interesting it will be but I don’t mind you watching. I guess we should probably start soon, this one is going to take a bit.”

They soon all make their way to the bedroom, get settled in there and this is familiar and different at the same time. Clint propping himself on pillows with his shirt off and sweat pants slung low, Steve beside him with the markers laid out and the sketchbook open,  all of that is so much like it has been every time they have done this but this time it isn’t just the two of them. Natasha sits on the other side of Clint, sits and watches as Steve starts to draw and it is different having her here when they are both so used to it being just the two of them. It is different, sharing this part of their relationship with Nat, but it isn’t bad, just a little different.

“It always amazes me how still you can hold with as much coffee as you drink sometimes.”

Natasha says this and Clint wants to say something but Steve beats her to it.

“He says it is a sniper thing. I just think he secretly has a superpower that stops him from getting the jitters after too much caffeine and also a fairly large bladder. “

Steve only gives a little glance up at Natasha as he says this before going back to focusing on his work but Clint sees the little grin he gives her and Natasha returns it.

“Maybe the secret super power is just the really large bladder. “

“That would be something to keep secret.”

Steve says this in response to Natasha’s words and Clint just shakes his head a bit right now while keeping the rest of himself still.

“I suggest that we stop talking about my bladder.  Like talk about anything that isn’t my bladder.”

He says this and Natasha rolls her eyes again but heeds his request.

“So when did you start drawing?”

Natasha asks this of Steve who gives an answer while still drawing.

“When I was around 8, I think. It was something I picked up because I could do it when I was stuck in bed which happened quite a bit.”

They spend quite a bit of time like this, Steve drawing on Clint, Natasha asking questions about the drawing and Clint adding comments here and there but mostly just lying there.  Natasha starts carding her fingers through his hair and it feels nice, just like the markers brushing over his skin and he does close his eyes for a bit,  not really sleeping but just sort of relaxing and it feels good. Soon enough, the feel of markers gliding across his skin is gone and Steve speaks softly.

“It is done now, you can look at it but don’t touch it for a little while. That goes for both of you.”

There is just a hint of order in his voice and Clint is used to the order and Natasha just smiles a bit.

“Alright, hands off for a little while. It looks good though, you’re very good.”

Clint looks down as she says this and from what he can see, it does look very good. It covers the scar completely and takes  up quite a bit of skin in addition to that  but it doesn’t look too big.  He gets up now, goes and looks at it fully in the mirror before coming back and giving Natasha a little smirk.

“Told you he’s good with his hands.”

He isn’t quite expecting the little smirk that Nat gives him in return and the slight blush of Steve’s cheeks.

“Oh, I know. Found out myself when he and I had that movie night couple days ago. Just a little playing around but you’re right, his hands are nice.”

There is a small curl of jealousy at her words but it isn’t because they did something together, it was more that he didn’t really get to see it. They haven’t quite worked up to the three of them doing too much more than making out and he is kind of disappointed that he wasn’t there when Steve and Nat got a little bit more intimate but he is glad it happened. 

“Aw, I missed it. I’m guessing you both enjoyed yourselves?”

He says this casually, leans against the doorway and Natasha just leans back on the bed  with a little nod as Steve gathers up the markers and sketch pad.

“We did, maybe we should show you.”

Steve says this now, gives a look over at Nat who gives a little smirk as she speaks.

“My schedule is free now. You want to show him now? You want to watch?”

“I’m fine with that. Clint?”

Steve says this now, looks over at Clint and Natasha is looking at him as well. It is something to have both of their attention on him and all he can do is  just stare back  and give an answer.

“I think I can handle that.”

He stays leaning against the doorframe as Steve moves to the bed now, as Natasha leans towards him and claims his lips. Watching them kiss might be one of his favorite things and Clint watches as  they kiss for a few moments, hands wandering.  Nat’s hands soon grab ahold of Steve’s shirt and he shifts away from her for just a moment so she can pull it up over his head and she throws at it Clint who catches it and she grins at him.

“You going to stay there or come get a closer look?”

He doesn’t say a word, just puts the shirt on the chair nearby and makes his way over to the bed, settles down so he can watch them but isn’t touching.  Soon enough more clothes are lost by both of them and the touches are becoming a bit more heated and Steve doesn’t seem to tease her the same the way that Clint does though Clint knows quite well that Steve does tease.  Steve doesn’t make her hold her hands on the bed like Clint does sometimes, when she tells him she wants something he gives it to her almost immediately and soon enough he is pushing his fingers into her, getting little breathy moans  from her as she digs nails into his shoulders.

“Tell me what it feels like.”

Clint asks Natasha this, looks at her flushed face and knows that it has to be pretty good but he wants to hear her talk about it and she gives him an answer after a moment.

“So good, not quite the same as yours but his fingers are nice, slender and long, artist finger but  still a bit rough like yours though. That isn’t the only thing that feels different. ”

When she says this, she wraps fingers around Steve’s cock and start stroking him and Steve just leans into the touch a bit, keeps thrusting his fingers in and out of her. They are working each other over, not a practiced rhythm, not yet, but they look so pretty doing it.   Steve makes her hand move away from him after a few moments and speaks, voice low but clear.

“If you keep that up, I’m going to get distracted and I want to focus on you right now, want to taste you. Can I do that?”

Steve asks and Natasha sucks in a breath and gives a nod . Steve grins and then dips his head down, moves his fingers out of her and then soon enough he is tasting  like he asked to. Steve is just as good with his mouth as he is with his fingers and Natasha is becoming just a bit breathless, hands sort of fluttering around like she isn’t sure what to do with them and Clint decides to  give her an idea. 

“If you want, you should grab his hair, he likes that.”

That is all the encouragement Natasha needs and she does grabs Steve’s hair,  grips it tightly with fingers  and Steve increases his efforts just a bit in response. It doesn’t take long till Tasha is undone, mouth opening and eyes closing and  Clint finds her ridiculously beautiful like this but he finds her ridiculously beautiful most of the time.  Steve is ridiculously beautiful as well, the way he moves away from Nat just slightly, lips shiny and eyes bright, obviously pleased with himself.  Clint can’t help but move now and place a kiss on Steve’s lips, get a little bit of Natasha’s taste.  Soft hands grab at his shoulders after just a moment and push him away.

“No touching quite yet, I’m going to repay the favor and then we will get to you.”

Nat’s voice is teasing yet commanding and Clint lets himself sink back into his spot from earlier and watches as Natasha turns her attention to Steve,  makes him shift onto his back and then she wraps a hand around him again.  She plays with him just a bit, the way Clint is so familiar with, hand light and teasing and trailing kisses up and down his throat but then she speeds up her rhythm and Clint gets to see Steve come undone and Nat looks pleased with herself. A few moments pass while they both come down from their highs and then they are looking over at Clint.

“Surprised your pants are still on.”

Nat says this with a little teasing and Clint just shrugs.

“Haven’t had a chance to take them off, figured you two would let me know when it was time for them to come off.”

“I think it might be time now.”

Steve says this with a smirk that is way more dirty than most people would think Captain America capable of and then he is shifting over to Clint, tugging his pants off. He could just rip them and that thought sends a little thrill down Clint’s spine but he really likes this pair of pants and boxers he is wearing right now so is a little glad that Steve is tugging them off instead of tearing but maybe when he is very some he is not as attached to he might have to suggest it. For now, he just lays there as Steve gets him bare for them and then Natasha leans closer to him and speaks.

“How about we open you up, get you so that Steve can get inside you and you can be inside me. How does that sound, you sandwiched between the two of us?”

That sounds fucking fantastic to Clint and all he can is give a little nod and then a hungry kiss to Nat’s lips.  He pulls back after a moment and then he is being touched by both of them, hands and lips, and they work him open just like Natasha said they would,  both of them taking turns fingering him open with lube colored fingers. They feel so good but different, Natasha’s fingers smaller than Steve’s but quicker and Steve’s so strong and he is so damn ready.

“I think we should speed this up or I’m not going to last too much longer.”

“Can’t have that, let me get settled.”

Nat says this and both Clint and Steve move so that she can lay down fully on the bed and she arranges herself, opens herself up a bit and then puts a condom on Clint.  He soon enough is sliding into her and it has been a little while since he has been inside her. They do this but a lot of time they do other stuff, Natasha liking hands and mouths and Clint just liking touch and contact and not being particularly picky about how he gets it but this is still familiar and nice.  He settles into her and then he can feel Steve behind him, knows he has gotten himself ready.

“You still want this?”

Steve asks as he places a small kiss against Clint’s throat and Clint moans out a yes. That is all Steve needs to hear and then he is entering Clint. Clint is surrounded by warmth right now, in-between his two favorite people and it is amazing, one of the best things he has ever felt.  They move together, words and encouragements being exchanged and it doesn’t take long for them to come, Natasha first, the feel of her clenching enough to send  Clint right over and Steve doesn’t last long after that. They are a pile for a little while before Steve eases out of Clint and shifts him so he is laying down next to Natasha. Steve looks over the design now.

“We didn’t smear it somehow, probably should of thought of that first but it still looks good. I’ll clean up.”

Steve says this and he does, takes the condoms and throws them away, wipes them all up and then he settles down on the bed as well.

“I vote for a nap.”

Clint says this now, feels worn out in the best way possible and Natasha brushes a kiss against his shoulder as she settles her head against it.

“I seconded that vote. Steve?”

“Nap sounds good, I’ll get the lights.”

He says this and gets up briefly and then settles back down and Clint is content and comity right now and manages to drift off after only a few moments.

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They are hitting a Hydra base tomorrow, just four of them, Nat, Clint, Steve and Sam, and they are going over the details right now.  It isn’t nearly as formal as SHIELD briefing, in fact they are sitting around the safe house with the info spread out around them as they eat a late dinner, but they have managed to figure out a plan and now they are really just commenting on different things. There had been a note about a phoenix plan and Sam had snorted and said something about them being big fan of the DeMeras and now he and Nat have spent the last five minutes discussing which of their evil plans were the most entertaining and Steve looks over at Clint for an explanation.

“Days of Our Lives. It is a soap opera on tv,   Nat watches it though I didn’t pin Sam for a soap fan.”

He says this now, looks over at Sam who just shrugs a bit.

“That is my mom’s show and I would watch it with her when I got sick. It is ridiculous but entertaining. I can remember when Marlena got possessed by the devil, trippy stuff.”

Steve just sort of shakes his head now and gets up to get some water and Clint gets up with him, decides to give Natasha some time to talk about her soap with someone who actually seems to know what is going on with it. He watches as Steve drinks a glass of water and then comes up to him and wraps arms around him, needs to talk to him about something.

“We may not find out where he is tomorrow.”

He says this, needs Steve to hear it. He knows that the attack on the base tomorrow isn’t just because of Bucky, Hydra needs to be stopped, but a lot of it has to do with Bucky and Clint needs Steve to be aware that the chase will probably keep going for a while.

“I know but we should find out something tomorrow. I just wish I knew where he is, that I could help him.”

Steve says this, leans into Clint’s touch a bit more and Clint does his best to soothe him a little bit.

“We’ll find him, we’ll help him and we’ll burn Hydra to the ground, I promise.”

Steve just gives a nod at Clint’s promise and they just stay there for a few moments, Clint holding Steve, their bodies close till they decide they should probably go see if the others are ready to turn in for the night.  They both are and the four of them get some rest for the next morning.

Everything against the base goes fairly smoothly, they get the information, leave the Hydra goons for authorities and get out though they do end up with some cuts and bruises but nothing too serious. For once Clint managed to get out fairly clean and he does a perimeter check with Steve as Nat and Sam start cleaning up.  The perimeter is good and they are back in the safe house, have started getting a little meal going. Steve cleans up quickly and puts on some new clothes and Clint does the same and then goes to let Sam and Nat know there is food ready to go. He can hear them in one of the bed rooms and he just listens for a moment.

“There are hardly  any plain band aids in this kit. I could put some gauze on it but it really doesn’t need anything that big. “

Sam says this and Clint hears Natasha reply now.

“We never have plain band aids, if you’re going to have to have one might as  well have something interesting covering it. I won’t see this one most of the time anyway.”

“Still you should have one you like. Want one of the zebra stipe one or cheetah print?”

Sam says this and Clint is near the doorway now, can watch them, and Natasha looks relaxed right now, sitting as Sam looks over the small cut on her upper back, just where her shirt does not cover. It isn’t that bad but is in a spot where it wouldn’t be a bad idea to cover it and Sam has the band aids out.

“Zebra, one of the blue and black if we have it.”

She says this and Sam is now carefully taking the band aid out and opening it up, smoothing it across Nat’s skin and Clint wonders if Sam has any idea what kind of moment this is.  Natasha doesn’t usually let people do this, sure she doesn’t fight doctors or anything like that and she will let any one she thinks won’t screw her over tend to her wounds in the field but this is a bit different. They are safe and secure and usually she would attend to this herself or have Clint do it and so the fact that she is sitting there so calmly and letting Sam take care of her says a lot about her trust in the man and it makes Clint wonder just a bit.

“Am I all patched up now? “

Nat asks and Sam gives her a yes and she gets up now and promptly makes him switch places with her and Sam just kind of goes along with it. She is eyeing his face just a bit and she grabs his chin with gentle fingers, makes him lift his head up so she can see a little better and Clint can see the small gash that is under it, already clean but still really red.

“I think we might need to match unless you would rather have cheetah. “

She says this now and Sam gives her a little grin.

“Nah, we can be stylish together. I think zebra print is in again.”

Natasha gives a small smile at this and digs out another of the zebra band aid and starts opening it as Sam keeps talking.

“You do this a lot, don’t you? Help patch up someone a little bit. From what Steve has said, you and Clint did a lot of missions together and he usually gets it a little but today apparently it was our turn.”

Natasha has the band aid out of the package and is getting ready to put it on, makes Sam tilt his head up a bit more.

“Today was our turn but there have been occasions where Clint ends up covered in these things and sometimes he whines a lot and other times he just asks if I will kiss them better. I usually do.”

She says this as she starts to place the band aid down on Sam’s skin,  fingers smoothing it out a bit and Clint can’t quite make out Sam’s face with the way it is tilted right now but he thinks there may be a little bit of blush but he can’t be sure.

“Don’t worry, I don’t require any kisses for this to heal, zebra print should do just fine.”

There is a flicker of something almost like disappointment across Nat’s face for a brief second,  so brief Clint wonders if he is imagining it and then she is movie away with Sam’s words. Clint decides it is time to make his presence known.

“Hey, we have some grub if you guys are all patched up.”

He says this as  he enters the room and both Natasha and Sam turn to him and Sam gives a little nod, starts to get up.

“Food sounds good and we are all patched up. I request neon orange band aids for next time.”

There is a bit of joking in his voice and Clint just gives a grin back.

“I’ll keep that in mind when I stock up the next safe house.”

Sam just says that Clint should and starts to leave the room and Natasha’s eyes drift over to him briefly before turning to Clint and Clint decides that they can talk about that later, for now he just gestures to the door and follows Nat as they make their way to unwind a bit.

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	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but I think the next one will be longer and will introduce some more plot stuff. Hope you enjoy.

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Clint watches Natasha for a little bit, watches Sam, watches both of them and he starts to think that Nat might want Sam just a bit.  He thinks about it, works through the slight jealousy that the thought causes, and decides that he should maybe talk to Nat about it. She has had a few flings while in this thing with him, few and far between and different than the relationships Clint pursued and it shouldn’t be an issue if she wants to pursue something with Sam. Clint doesn’t think Steve will mind either but he should probably discuss it with him as well, just hasn’t quite found the time or the right way to say it.  Now probably isn’t the best time either but the words slip his mouth without really thinking about it.

“You know, Sam’s cute and a great guy and I bet he would be interested. ”

He says this as he is painting Nat’s  nails and he gets looks from both her and Steve now. They are having a night in, Nat insisting they do something relaxing since they are all still a bit run down from the last mission they went on and apparently relaxing means manicures and wine and take out and it hasn’t been a bad evening. It was Nat’s idea and she had invited Sam as well who has something else going on right now and Clint had seen the little twinge of disappointment in her eyes which is why he is bringing this up. Steve is looking at him with a little bit of confusion where he sits using Nat’s nail buffer on his own nails and Nat just raises a brow at him.

“Interested in what exactly?”

She asks now, purposely vague and Clint almost feels like rolling his eyes but he doesn’t, just restates what he said.

“Interested in you, in doing stuff with you, if that is something you want.”

He adds those last words in case he has been reading the situation wrong but he is pretty sure he hasn’t read this wrong. Nat is still just looking at him and he feels like maybe he needs to ad more to what he is saying.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t mind either, it is your choice.”

Steve says this now, is looking at Natasha now and she just returns both of their stares and maybe Clint should have thought this through. After a long moment that makes Clint a bit nervous, Natasha speaks.

“He might mind, may not see it the way we do.”

She says this simply and it isn’t a denial that she wants something with Sam.

“I could say something.”

Clint offers now and both Steve and Nat are looking at him with a strange sort of curiosity .

“What would you say?”

Steve asks this and Clint sort of shrugs as he tries to think of the right thing to say.

“Just let him know what is going on, that he can reciprocate if Nat makes a move, nothing too overt. Something subtle.”

They are both still staring at him and he goes back to Nat’s nails for a moment before her voice draws his attention away again.

“So you’re offering to play matchmaker for me again, only this time it isn’t with your boyfriend.”

“Hey it worked out well last time.”

Clint says this gestures to both of them and Steve just smiles and Nat sort of tilts her head in acknowledgement .

“Doesn’t mean it would work this time.  Let’s talk about something else, like what movie to watch and what food to order and you should finish my nails and then I can do yours.”

Clint knows when to drop the subject with Nat and so he does, goes back to doing her nails and asking if some Greek sounds good for tonight. The discuss how to spend the rest of the evening and soon enough Nat’s nails are done, a bright cherry red and she starts on his like she said she was going to. When they watch their movie and have dinner that night, Nat has managed to get both him and Steve to let her do their nails, his a dark purple and Steve’s a blue and Clint wonders if they are spotted soon  by anyone with a camera what people might say on the internet but he doesn’t really care.  Their nails look allright and Natasha liked painting them and the evening is all around nice and easy and soon enough they are all getting ready for bed, Nat next to him in bed as Steve finishes up in the bathroom.

“If you really don’t want me to play matchmaker, I won’t.”

He says this quietly now, wants her to know that he won’t push this if it really is something she is unsure about. She turns to him and brushes a little kiss against his lips before speaking.

“You can try. I just am not sure I’m something he would want but it can’t hurt to see, right?”

She says this, face open and honest and he knows that this is a bit different for her, wanting this, admitting to it and to the worry she feels about and he brings her closer to him, brushes a soft kiss against her forehead.

“It can’t hurt to see.”

He says this and she gives a little nod and just snuggles up to him a little closer. Soon enough Steve is out of the bathroom and he lays down on the other side of Clint and they all end up drifting off to sleep soon enough.

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It is one thing to decide to try to play match maker for Nat again and another to actually do it. She was right that it is a bit different this time, Clint is still getting to know Sam himself, and he doesn’t want to make it more awkward than it has to be.  He thinks about everything he knows about the man, goes over it and tries to come up with the right thing to say.

Sam doesn’t have anyone special right now, Clint knows this but sometimes he has a feeling he had someone awhile ago, has heard him say a few things that have led to that conclusion, seen him play with some dog tags before with a sort of wistful look on his face.  Sam had someone once that he lost and Clint thinks he is still picking up pieces of that sometimes and Clint can see the sadness sometimes but he also sees more than that. He sees the way Sam gives little glances to Nat sometimes, nothing to noticeable but just enough for Clint to guess he probably finds her attractive. He grins at her sometimes, easy and light and Clint thinks maybe it is those grins that have made Nat want him like she does.  He’s a good guy and Clint thinks he might be good for Nat and Clint won’t mind sharing if Sam is ok with it. He just has to approach the subject and he finds the chance when after a mission they are the first two up in the kitchen, making some breakfast and he starts with a simple statement.

“Nat told me she might see if you want to come over to her place to watch a movie sometime  after this.”

This is true enough and Sam looks over where he is getting some stuff out of the fridge and asks a question.

“Like a team like thing, the four of us? It was fun last time even if Steve ate almost all the popcorn.”

Clint just shakes his head a bit.

“No, I think just the two of you, just hanging out, seeing where things lead.”

Sam’s eyes narrow at him just a bit like he is trying to figure out what Clint is trying to say.

“You know, if you were talking about someone else I would think you were talking about her maybe asking me out, like a date,  but I don’t think that is what is going on here.”

Clint kind of shrugs now.

“Well, Nat doesn’t really do dates but it might be close to one for her. You should say yes if you want to.”

Sam’s eyes widen just a bit and he is staring at Clint for a long moment before he can get some words out and maybe Clint should have phased some of this better.

“Are you trying to set me up with your partner?”

“Kind of? More like giving you a heads up since I  think Nat wants to make a move and I’m just letting you know that you can respond if you want to, that Steve and I aren’t going to get upsets. “

Sam is just still looking at him and after a while he sort of shakes his head a bit but it isn’t so much of a no as just sort of disbelief.

“You know when you told me that you guys were kind of complicated, I didn’t think I would have to worry about being involved in it.”

“Well you only have to be involved if you want. If you’re not interested, Nat will understand.”

“Didn’t say I wasn’t interested, just thinking about the situation a bit. I’ll  see what happens. Are you going to give me a shovel talk?”

There is a tiny bit of a smile on Sam’s face and Clint returns it.

“Don’t really think I need to worry about it too much. Nat can take care of herself and you have seen her do it.”

“I have. Impressive stuff.  The eggs are still good, want me to grab all of them?”

Clint gives a nod and they focus more on making food than they do anything else for the next few minutes and soon enough Nat and Steve join them and then it is  a quick meal before they leave the safe house, makes their way back home.  Clint does see Nat pull Sam aside for a few minutes but he doesn’t listen to their conversation but Nat does have a bit of a smile when it is finished so Clint thinks it probably went well.  He hopes it works out for her, Natasha deserves good things.

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	14. Chapter 14

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They are still looking for Bucky but he always seems to be just out of reach, avoiding them and Clint knows that it is frustrating Steve, hell it is frustrating him just a little bit too and he may have an idea about it but there are other things to focus on right now. Mostly the fact that Clint managed to scrape himself up pretty good on the last avengers mission. He has had worse, no broken bones this time, just some bruised ribs but still he has a prescription for pain meds and orders to not do anything too strenuous for at least a couple days.  He is at home now, Steve dropping him off and saying that he would be back soon and Nat is already showing up at the door with Sam behind her. They weren’t on this last one and she just shakes her head at him a bit as she follows him to the couch and lets him lay his head on her lap.  Sam sits down in the chair on the other side of Nat and grabs Clint’s remote and starts looking through channels. Clint just nestles his head against the softness of Nat’s t-shirt before realizing something.

“This doesn’t look like any of your shirts.”

He says this and it really doesn’t. For one it doesn’t quite fit her right and it also looks a bit like a man’s shirt. She just runs her fingers through his hair as she speaks.

“It isn’t mine, just borrowing it.”

She says this and he raises an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

He says this like a question and he gets an answer but not from her.

“It’s mine.”

Sam says this simply though when Clint looks over at him there is just a hint of shyness in his smile but no embarrassment. He feels like this deserves a fist bump so  he offers his knuckles up to Nat who does bump them but also rolls her eyes.  Sam just shakes his head a bit but doesn’t stop smiling.

“Make sure you get it back from her or she might keep it.”

He says this and Nat tugs on his hair just a bit but he doesn’t mind.

“I’ll keep that  in mind but she is welcome to it whenever she likes.”

Sam says this and Clint can see a little smile cross Nat’s face and it is good. He likes seeing her smile like that even if he isn’t the one to put it there. A few minutes pass with the three of them just sitting, well Clint kind of laying more than sitting and Sam finds something on TV and then Steve comes in, a bag in hand and doesn’t look phased at all to see them all here already.  He just comes over to the couch, helps Clint get up slightly and sits down next to him and hands him a bag.

“This is for you, got it last week, waiting for a good time to give it  to you. Figured since you gave me a present when I was injured, I should do the same for you. “

Clint gives him a little smile  and a brief kiss before opening the bag. In it is a teddy bear, but not just any sort of bear. It is clad all in purple and has little boy in it and  it is absolutely ridiculous looking but super cute at the same time and it makes Clint grin like mad.

“It’s a hawkeye bear! HawkBear or BearEye! Which is better?”

He asks and Sam says BearEye as Nat says HawkBear but Steve just smiles at Clint’s grin.

“You can call him whatever you want. I had him made for you,  went to build a bear, remembered you said you would want one. Maybe he can hang out with Cap Bear sometime.”

”Cap Bear? I’m going to assume that is a teddy bear and not an actual bear.”

Sam says this and Nat gives a nod.

“Clint gave it to Steve, it has a shield and everything. I’m glad you both like your bears but don’t forget my strict no stuffed animals rules. I better not get a black widow bear.”

She says this and Clint just gives  a nod but he already has plans to make one and give it to Sam or Steve, she just said she doesn’t want one for herself, never said he can’t make it for someone else.  He will defiantly have to do that later, right now he just hangs out and lets his pain meds kick in, just has a lazy night with people he likes after a rough mission.

::::::::::::::::

His ribs are mostly healed now and Clint thinks it is probably about time to approach the others about his plan.  It could be a risk but if there is one thing Clint has learned it is that sometimes you have to take risks. He decides to bring it up now when they are going over stragey to find him again.

“I think it might be a good idea if I leave a trail for him to find, see if he approaches .”

“Is that what we have been?”

It is Sam who asks and Clint needs to clarify a little bit.

“We have been but I was thinking maybe it should just be me, maybe you for a little while looking. I mean we can still have everybody still looking for him still, Tony doing his tech thing, Fury keeping a heads up, but that maybe I should be the one to do a little legwork see if he is more likely to approach if it is just one of us.”

“He doesn’t know you.”

Steve says this with a hint of concern in his voice, a hint of confusion and Clint gives a little nod.

“He doesn’t, has never known me. I haven’t really had any run ins with him as the soldier, don’t have the history you have with him or even the history Nat has him with. Hell, even Sam has interacted with him. He might be running from you because he does know you.”

There is a bit of hurt that crosses over Steve’s face now, brief but unmistakable and Clint reaches a hand out to him, needs him to understand.

“He might be remembering you but he might not be able to face you quit yet but he has to be curious about why we are looking for him and it might be easy to face someone he doesn’t have a history with.”

Clint says this and he thinks it might be the truth. He remembers what it was like after Loki, how he didn’t always want to face Nat, still a bit afraid of what he almost did to her. He didn’t run but he thought about it. She was too stubborn to let him hide away and Steve was there as well, both helping him and Clint knows that is what Barnes needs as well but he probably doesn’t want to face them yet. Clint can put himself out there and see if Bucky approaches.

“He could hurt you. “

Steve says this and there is a bit of worry on his face and Clint understands the concern and he tries to reassure him.

“I can take care of myself.”

“He’s also good at bringing home strays.”

Natasha says this as she looks over at Steve, her voice is certain and Clint is glad to hear that tone as she continues to speak.

“Clint’s right, it might be easier if we split up a little bit, give him a chance to approach one of us. It is worth a shot.”

Sam is giving a nod now as well and Clint knows that he has their support and after a moment Steve gives a little nod as well.

“We’ll try it but if you run into any problems you get ahold of us, promise me that.”

Steve says this, has a hold of Clint’s hand now and Clint gives a nod.

“I promise I’ll call you guys to bail my ass out if I need it. Now, let’s go over what we have so we can figure out where I should start.”

The next hours are spent coming up with a game plan and the next few days are spent getting everything ready. He heads out on his own after spending the evening with Nat and Steve and he starts following the little clues that Barnes has left behind. He leaves his own clues and waits.

It is different being on his own now after so long of doing missions with others, a little lonely and a bit boring. He misses having Natasha there to play games with, misses having Steve watching his back, misses having Sam there to roll his eyes at some of his jokes and laugh at others but he needs to see if this will work.  It has been about a week and he has stayed in contact with the others but he hasn’t seen much of Barnes yet, just a few little clues, has managed to find a destroyed base that he thinks was Bucky’s handiwork and he is going to stay at this safe house for a few more days till he moves on to another one. He needs a few supplies so he goes out to get them and when he comes back, something doesn’t quit feel right.

There is a light on in one of the rooms, Clint can see it as he enters the house, knows he didn’t leave it on. Someone is here and he is sure that the light has to be  a distraction but still he puts the bags down, makes sure he has a knife on him and makes his way further into the house, not towards the light but the room next to it.  He is a bit surprised when the attack comes from the room with the light, a body tackling him. He goes with the tackle, slows down their impact, lets himself be pinned and he finds himself looking into Bucky Barnes’s face. Bucky has sought him out and now Clint just has to hope he can survive the encounter.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some more, hope people enjoy and comments would be awesome.

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It is a bit intimidating having the winter soldier on top of him, metal arm pinning him to the ground, eyes staring into his own.  He has pretty eyes, Clint has always thought this since he saw pictures of Bucky Barnes when he was younger and they are still pretty even if they look a bit worn and tired right now. With everything the man has been through it really isn’t a surprise that his eyes look tired and Clint hopes they can help with that but right now he focuses on being pinned down and on the fact that Bucky is speaking.

“You are going to tell me what is going on, why you and the others keep searching for me.”

There is a demand in his voice and Clint just gives a little nod and then speaks calmly, almost casually.

“No problem but do you mind letting me put my groceries up real quick and start some food? I got stuff to make real dinner here and I really should put it in the fridge before it gets to warm, no one likes the smell of warm milk and this is one of my better smelling safe houses.”

It is a lot of words at once and defiantly not something Bucky was expecting to hear if the look of pure confusion and disbelief is anything to go by and he just stares at Clint right now. A moment passes and then Bucky shifts just a bit to let Clint up and he is watching him the whole time, on alert like he expects Clint to attack. He doesn’t, just makes his way to where he put his bags, picks them up and moves to the small kitchen. Bucky follows, still watching Clint closely and Clint just starts putting stuff away and gets ready to make some food. A few minutes pass in quiet as he starts setting things out and getting them going.

“I’m going to try to make mac and cheese, Sam made some a few weeks ago and it was super good so I’m going to try it and hopefully not burn anything. I  watched him make it so it can’t be too hard, right?”

He asks and Bucky doesn’t say anything so Clint just keeps talking as he starts making the food.

“I think the big thing is just to make sure all the cheese melts right and not to over cook the pasta since it is going into the oven. I cook sometimes, been doing it more often lately. You cook at all?”

He asks and he gets an answer now.

“Yes, I do. Are you trying to distract me right now?”

He asks and Clint just shrugs a little bit and keeps working on the food. If Bucky is going to attack, he is going to attack and Clint thinks it is best to play everything a little relaxed right now.

“Not really, just babbling a bit.  I know you want to talk about why we are looking for you but I’m pretty sure you have an idea. You’re remembering, aren’t you?”

Clint just comes out and asks this and he gets a crisp nod from Bucky.

“I am. I remember Steve,  know why he is looking for me, and the widow is someone I trained long ago and I can understand why she is looking for me. Wilson is helping them and I broke his wings and his car and he can’t be happy about that.”

“He wasn’t happy about it but the wings are fixed now so he might forgive you eventually though I think he misses his car.  “

Clint says this and Bucky just stares at him for a little bit before speaking again.

“It was a nice car.”

He says it so simply but there is something in his eyes right now, a little guilt and Clint can understand that feeling well.

“His new one is nice too. You like bacon?”

He asks this now and Bucky arches an eyebrow at him, a look of confusion settling on his face before he answers.

“I think so. Why are you asking?”

There is genuine curiosity in his voice and Clint answers the question.

“Think I might put some in here, thought you might want to eat something as well. Here, chop it up for me.”

He gets out the bacon and another cutting board and he wonders briefly how he ended up with so many here anyway and then holds out a clean knife to Bucky who just sort of stares at it for a moment.

“You trust me with that?”

“Sure, you already have some knives on you, if you were going to just stab me you probably would have done it already and I really want to speed up this cooking thing so might as well have you help.”

There is another moment of hesitation and then Bucky is taking the knife, starts chopping up the bacon just like Clint asked him to. There a few minutes of quiet now, both of them focused on their task and the situation is a bit surreal. He was hoping that Barnes would seek him out but it is still a bit strange that he is here now, helping Clint make mac and cheese but Clint is just going to go with it for now. Bucky finishes chopping the bacon and hands it to Clint who gets it cooking and soon enough he is able to get the mac and cheese in the oven and now there is nothing to really distract them anymore and Clint decides to ask a question now.

“Why did you come here, why now? We have been looking for you for a while, you could have made contact before.”

He could have made contact with Steve but Clint doesn’t say that, just waits for Bucky’s answer. It only takes a  few moments and he gets it.

“The others aren’t here, it is just you and it seems safer approaching with just you. I know who you are, know who you are to Steve, but I haven’t interacted with you before. Are you looking for me for him, for them?”

Bucky asks now and Clint gives him the most honest answer he can.

“Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

Bucky repeats it and makes it a question and Clint knows that he needs to elaborate a bit so he does.

“I was looking for you because you mean a lot to Steve, were kind to Natasha when not many were, and I was looking for you because I know what it is like to do horrible things because someone else forced you to.  The things Hydra made you do, those aren’t your fault and I think you need to hear that.”

There is a long pause right after Clint says this and he can almost feel the guilt radiating off of the other man and he sort of wants to give him a hug but isn’t sure if that would go down well. He did try to hug Natasha the first night they spoke, tried to give her a little act of comfort but it didn’t really go over that well, was more awkward than anything and she ended up elbowing him hard cause she wasn’t ready for him to touch her like that yet and he has learned his lesson since then. Save hugging world renowned assassins  till at least your third meeting with them.  

“Might not be my fault but doesn’t change the fact that I did them.”

Bucky says this and his voice is so damn honest and filled with pain and Clint has to remind himself of his hugging rule.  Instead he takes a small step forward and looks him straight in the eyes as he speaks.

“I understand that, have gone through it. Nothing is going to change what has happened but you can stop running if you want. If you’re not ready to yet, I won’t stop you, I’ll even try to explain to Steve why you’re not ready yet.”

He says this and he means it. It won’t do any of them any good if they try to force Bucky to stop running if he’s not ready for it.

“I want to stop running but I don’t know if I can be who Steve remembers, might be someone different now. “

Bucky says this softly and Clint takes another step closer to him, reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. Bucky doesn’t move away so Clint figures he must not be crossing a line right now and he speaks just as softly.

“I think he would like to see who you are now and besides, he probably isn’t like you remember him either.  Just stay here for a little bit, eat some hopefully ok mac and cheese with me and then you can decide what to do. Ok?”

He says all of this and then gets a small nod after a bit.

“You always feed strange assassins that show up at your safe houses mac and cheese?”

Bucky asks with a little smile now, still a bit of guilt in his eyes and he is still tense but Clint figures it is a step in the right direction.

“Nah, I fed Natasha frozen pizza and canned pasta when she came to talk to me.  I didn’t really cook much back then.  You want some water while we wait?”

 He gets a nod and moves his hand away now, gets them both a glass and they sit down to wait for the food to finish.  His phone goes off after a moment and he can see Bucky tense up just a bit at it as he puts it on the table and checks his message, shows it to Bucky.

“It is just Nat, making sure I haven’t fallen off of any roofs lately. She likes to mock me for it  but it is how she shows she cares. I’ll probably get a message from Steve later, maybe even a call, but I won’t tell either of them about you being here till you want them to know. “

He says this and then he types out a quick message to Nat letting her know that he is in one piece and shows it to Bucky before he sends it and the other man seems reassured by Clint’s behavior right now. They sit in relative quit now, occasionally Clint saying something or asking a small question and Bucky will answer, seems to be growing just a little bit more comfortable.  The food gets done and he dishes them both up some and sets them down and Bucky dives into it quickly.

“Not too bad.”

He says this and Clint gives a little shrug.

“Sam’s was way better, maybe you can try it sometime.”

“Maybe. ”

He says this simply and goes back to eating, polishes off his plate fairly quickly and Clint tells him to help himself to more and he does, eats another full plate and a half and Clint wonders if he hasn’t been eating much or if it just a metabolism thing like Steve have.  Bucky ends up helping him clean up and after a few moments, Bucky breaks the quiet that has settled again.

“Can you ask him to come here? I think I want to see him again before I decide what to do.”

Clint is a little surprised by this but he gives a small nod, gets out his phone and sends Steve a quick message, tells him that it isn’t life or death but he needs him to come here, gives him the coordinates. He shows Bucky the message as he sends it and it doesn’t take too long to get a reply saying that he would be there as soon as he can and he shows this one to Bucky who just gives a little relieved nod.

“So we have some time to wait, not quite ready for bed yet so you want to play cards?”

Clint asks and gets a little nod and he spends the next few hours playing poker and go fish with one of the most feared assassins in the world and he thinks it might be up there in the weird things in his life but he will go along with it.

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	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a little while, hope people are still enjoying it.

 ::::::::::::::::

The night passes with games of go fish and some talking and a little bit of rest. Clint’s sleep is light, maybe a couple of hours and he isn’t sure Bucky sleeps at all but that is something he can ask him about later. Right now, they are both back in the kitchen, Clint making them some coffee and that is when he gets a message on his phone, Steve letting him know that he is here.

“Hey, Steve is near the door, I’m going to let him in. You can stay here if you want.”

He says this and Bucky gives a little nod, doesn’t move from his chair and Clint just heads to the door. It hasn’t been that long since he has seen Steve but it feels like a long time and Clint is looking forward to seeing him even if he is a little bit nervous. There is no way to know how all of  this is going to play out and Clint just hopes things won’t go to crap soon as he gets to the door, opening it to find Steve on the other side.

“Hey you.”

Maybe it is a bit simple of an opening statement but Clint knows that they will have plenty to talk about later and Steve just gives him a smile as he walks in, his bag being dropped on the floor and  his hands grabbing Clint then and bringing him close.

“Hey yourself. I missed you.”

Clint should probably point out that it hasn’t been that long but damn it, he has missed Steve too and so instead he just leans in and kisses him.  It is a soft kiss, just a brush of lips but Steve smiles at in and moves his hands to Clint’s neck, pulls him in for another kiss.  It feels good but Clint can feel someone else entering the room now and he knows Steve feels it too cause he pulls away now, looks past Clint just a bit and Clint can see his eyes widen, can feel his hands move away from his neck and Clint wonders if he is going to be in trouble for not saying anything before this.

“Bucky?”

The name is spoken softly but with so much care behind it and there is a momentary flash of jealousy before Clint can push it down. He knows how much Steve cares about Bucky but it is a little different to hear that care in his voice and Clint has to remind himself that he means a lot to Steve too.

“Hey Steve.”

Bucky says those words and Clint turns and sees him in the doorway, not moving forward quite yet, just watching them. There is a tension in the way he stands there, one that Clint notices but he doesn’t think Steve does as he starts to move towards Bucky. Bucky tenses up just a bit more and Clint reaches out and puts a hand on Steve’s arm, a sign to let Steve know to wait and he does, stops and turns to look at Clint.

“Didn’t think I should tell you about this on the phone.”

He says this, hopes it is enough explanation and it seems to be as Steve just shifts and grabs one of Clint’s hands, gives it a little squeeze.

“You found him.”

Steve says this now, has a little smile and Clint just sort of shrugs.

“More like he found me then ate most of my mac and cheese.”

“You let me.”

Bucky says this from the door way, is easing up just a bit now that Steve isn’t moving forward and Clint just gives a little nod. There are a few moments of quiet now, the three of them just standing there, Steve still holding Clint’s hand but just staring at Bucky and Clint knows that the two of them need to talk and so he thinks up an opening so he can give them a few minutes alone if they want it right now.

“I got breakfast stuff yesterday and I think scrambled eggs sound good right now so I’ll get that started, you guys can come to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

He says this and Steve gives his hand one more squeeze before he lets it go and Clint moves towards the kitchen, to the doorway Bucky is still standing near. Bucky moves as Clint  gets closer, still not quite towards Steve but not really away from him and he lets Clint pass and Clint is in the kitchen alone.

He starts going about making breakfast like he said he was going to, starts pulling stuff out of the fridge but he pauses to pour himself some coffee.  Clint takes a big drink once he has it ready, needs it right now. He has a feeling it might be a long day or even a long week depending on how everything goes and he tries to start preparing himself for it as he starts making breakfast.

There is so much that needs to be talked about, between Bucky and Steve and even just between Clint and Steve.  They have talked about how much Bucky means to Steve before, about his relationship with Steve, talked about getting him to stop running but they really haven’t discussed what will happen when he does.  Is Steve going to want to rekindle everything he had with Bucky? Is that something Bucky would want? If they do rekindle, is that going to change how things are now? Clint knows that it has always been a bit of complicated situation, what with him and Natasha, and now Natasha and Steve, and Natasha and Sam and if Bucky comes back with them, it may complicate things a bit more and Clint isn’t sure how it will complicate things just yet.  All these questions are making his head hurt just a bit and he makes himself focus on finishing up breakfast first, can worry about everything else after they have figured out what is going on.

Clint is starting on the bacon now, decides he should probably go ahead and cook the rest of what he has. It will probably get ate between the three of them and he does it in the oven, glad that this is one of the safe houses with sheet pans and more than  one skillet since he needs more than one to make enough eggs for the three of them.  It should be enough and everything should be ready soon and Clint just sips his coffee and waits and he doesn’t wait too long till Bucky and Steve are walking into the kitchen. Bucky comes in first, Steve a few steps behind, watching Bucky like he is worried to have him out of his sight just a bit.

“That smells good.”

Bucky says this and he sits down at the table and Clint wonders if they have figured things out yet but he will ask about it later. Steve just comes to stand by Clint, close enough that Clint can feel his body heat and he doesn’t mind.

“Clint makes great scrambled eggs, makes good breakfast food in general. ”

Steve says this and his voice is warm with just a little pride in it, like he is bragging on Clint and it eases some of the tension Clint has been feeling so he jokes now.

“Knew you were only dating me for my French toast.”

Steve smiles just a bit as he shakes his head, brushes a quick kiss against Clint’s cheek.

“It isn’t the only reason but it is probably in the top five. Need help with anything?”  
He asks and Clint tells him to get plates and  stuff down, to get coffee if they want it.  The next few minutes pass with Clint finishing up cooking breakfast, Steve getting stuff out for it, and Bucky just watching both of them. Clint wonders if it is a little weird for him, to see how affectionate Steve is with Clint and he hopes it isn’t too weird but it is something to think about later.  For now, the food is ready and they all get their plates loaded up, sit down and eat some breakfast.

Conversation is light for the most part, Steve and Clint doing most of it with Bucky just listening and occasionally adding something in.  The subjects vary a bit, there is talk about food, about movies, just some random things and Clint thinks it is helping them to relax a bit, especially Bucky.  They don’t talk about what he has done, what Hydra made him do, and Clint knows that after Loki sometimes he needed that, needed a chance to not have to think about it and he thinks maybe Bucky might be the same. They finish eating and cleaning up and that is when Bucky moves towards the door way of the kitchen and Steve tenses up just a bit.

“I think I’m going to shower, if that is alright. Do you have anything I could borrow?”

He asks and Clint answers, has moved just a bit closer to Steve to hopefully help ease his tension.

“I’m sure between the two of us we can find something for you, we’ll set it out in the room next to the bathroom in a bit. Towels are under the sink, have shampoo and everything in there, hope you don’t mind smelling like mango orange and beach sunset. “

He arches a bit of a brow at Clint and then says thanks and heads to the bathroom and Steve almost looks like he wants to follow him but Clint just puts a hand on his arm and leads him back to the table, makes him sit and pours them both some more coffee and asks a question.

“You brought a few sets of clothes, right? I have a feeling your shirts may fit him better and I have some sweats that should work. We can get them out for him in a bit,  the bathroom doesn’t have windows here so you don’t have to worry about him climbing out of one.”

“I wasn’t thinking that he  would climb out of a window.”

Steve says this and Clint just gives him a look, an eyebrow raise that says what Clint wants to say without words and Steve just gives a little sigh.

“Ok, I was thinking he might leave but I figured he would just use the door, not a window. “

Steve says this and then just a few seconds after they both hear the shower turning and Clint can see Steve just relax a bit.

“Are you really worried about him leaving?”

Clint asks now and Steve thinks about it for a moment.

“A little bit, he’s here now, told me earlier that he wanted to see me but didn’t feel like he could do it before now and I’m just worried that he won’t stay. I don’t want to lose him again, just got him back.”

Steve says this and Clint reaches out and takes his hand, holds it and makes a promise.

“We’ll figure it all out, just might take a while. We should get him some clothes.”

Clint doesn’t promise that Bucky will stay, doesn’t promise that Steve won’t lose him again, he knows that those aren’t things he can promise but he does think that they can figure this out.  Steve just gives a little nod and gets up and they do get some clothes for Bucky, lay them out like Clint said they would and then they go back to the kitchen, wait for him to join them again.  He does after a bit, hair wet and feet bare, but Clint knows he has tucked one of his knives in the sweat pants, can see the little bulge of it when Bucky  sits down. Clint doesn’t say anything about it and neither does Steve, just asks if Bucky wants more coffee and gets him some more when he gives a little nod. Bucky takes it,  adds more sugar to it than the two spoon’s worth Steve already put in there and Steve shakes his head a bit but he is smiling.

“You still put too much in there, don’t know that you even taste the coffee anymore.”

“Hey, considering the coffee you used to make, I had to put this much in it so it wouldn’t taste like tar. It’s a defense mechanism.”

 Bucky says this and Steve’s smile grows just a bit and this must be an old argument between the two but Clint is focusing on something else.

“Are you saying my coffee tastes like tar?”

He asks now and there is a little insult in his voice. Clint knows he brews it a little strong sometimes but his coffee is great damn it, he knows coffee and Bucky shakes his head a little.

“No, your coffee is good, very not tar like but it is just a habit and I can put as much sugar as I want, just like things sweet sometimes.”

Clint takes this explanation in stride and takes another sip of his own coffee.

“I left hot water, if you want a shower, Steve. The soap smells good by the way.”

Bucky says this and Clint replies before Steve says anything.

“Nat picked it out, she always picks out the best bathroom stuff. Maybe I can steal some of her bath salts for you sometime.”

“Maybe.”

Bucky says this and Steve’s smile dims just a little bit but isn’t completely gone, just a little guarded right now.

“He took some for me once, her bath salts are nice. I’ll go see how this soap is.”

He gets up now, leaves Bucky and Clint in the kitchen together and they just sit there for a few moments in quiet before Bucky breaks it.

“He is different than I remember, not bad, just different.”

He sounds a bit relieved and Clint gives a little nod.

“Told you he might be. He still cares for you lot though.”

Clint says this and Bucky is quiet for just a moment as he takes a few more sips of his coffee.

“He does and he cares for you, I can see it. I don’t know how I would fit into all this.”

Bucky says this now and Clint takes a moment to think about what should say, has a feeling it is important that he says the right thing right now.

“I’m not sure yet either but we could find out, make a place for you. Steve would like that and I think I would too.”

He says this now, means it even if he still worries about it a bit, about how things are going to change.  Bucky just gives a little nod and takes another drink of his coffee and then gets up to get more, gestures to Clint’s cup. Clint hands it to him, takes the gesture of him filling it up as a good sign that things are going to be alright.  The cards are still on the table from last night, put off to the side when they were eating earlier and Bucky grabs them when he sits down, starts shuffling them now.

“Want to play again?”

Buck asks and Clint just gives a nod and they start to play and that is how Steve finds them when he comes back in after his shower, playing go fish and he sits down.

“Deal me in on the next hand.”

Steve says this and Bucky just gives a little nod.

“Ok, I think I’m going back with you, if that is ok.”

Bucky says this causally and Steve smiles, gives a little nod and nothing else is really said about  it, they just play cards and Clint thinks maybe things will be ok.

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	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments. This fic is one of my favorites to write and I'm glad that others are enjoying it as well.

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They don’t leave that night, want to plan things out just a bit and when it comes time to go to bed, something has to be decided. Steve obviously wants to sleep in the same bed as Clint but doesn’t want to let Bucky  out of his sight and the safe house is small anyway, only one real bed right now, Clint  thinks Bucky may have slept on the couch the night before if he slept at all, so it is an easy thing to suggest.

“The bed’s big enough for three, unless there are any objections I think we should all just bunk there tonight, will be better than the lumpy couch or the floor.”

He says this now and Bucky hesitates for just a moment before giving a little nod and Steve gives Clint a thankful smile. They all end up there around the same time, all in sleep clothes and Clint is the first to go to the bed, puts himself in the middle.

“I can scoot if needed, just let me know which way but you and I are cuddling tonight.”

He says this to Steve who just gives a little smile as he lays down on Clint’s right, the side that is closer to the door and after just a moment Bucky clicks off the light  and settles in on Clint’s left side. He doesn’t  lay that close to them, isn’t touching either of them, has put space between them but Clint doesn’t say anything and there are a few moments of quiet before Steve speaks.

“I will wake up if you need me, if either of you need me. Try to get some sleep.”

He says this to both of them and Clint just smiles, brushes a quick kiss against Steve’s cheek as he snuggles into him a bit more.

“Ok ,I’ll try. Good night.”

Bucky says this and Clint can feel Steve relax just a bit more. It takes a little while but Clint drifts off after a while, is pretty sure Steve and Bucky are both still awake when he does but he isn’t too worried about it.  They will either sleep or they won’t, Clint can’t really affect it too much, so he drifts and sleeps through most of the night.

He wakes up the next morning, Steve wrapped tightly around him and the bed feels a little off. Clint figures out what it is once he opens his eyes fully,  Bucky isn’t in the bed with them anymore. This may be a problem but he forces himself to keep calm, to shift just a bit in Steve’s arms so he can get out of them.

“Got to pee, then coffee,  let me up, I’ll be back soon.”

He says this to Steve, who loosens his grip while mumbling something about Clint drinking too much coffee but his eyes are still closed and he just snuggles into the pillow a bit more and Clint is pretty sure he is  drifting back to sleep.  If there is a situation with Bucky, Clint will wake him soon but he will wait till he knows for sure before doing that. For now, he makes his way out of the small bedroom, uses the bathroom quickly, and decides to see if there is any sign that Bucky has left.

He heads towards the kitchen and there is the smell of coffee and it relaxes him just a bit. It is possible that the other man made coffee to take with him but Clint kind of doubts it. He enters the kitchen and sure enough, Bucky is there,  standing next to the stove, looking down at the pan on it frowning just a bit.

“I don’t remember you scowling at your breakfast yesterday. Is it just pancakes that give you the frown face? I promise that the syrup is still good.”

Clint says this as he walks closer to the stove, has had a chance to see what is in the pan. It is a couple of pancakes, almost too close to each other but still separate and it appears Bucky got up to simply make breakfast.  Bucky just turns and looks at him as he speaks.

“I thought I would cook today and I’m just trying to decide if these are ready to flip. Pancake flipping has given me trouble before, I once flipped one when it wasn’t ready yet, it was still really runny and I somehow got it all over the floor and ended up stepping on it and I hated cooking them since then. ”

There is something almost pleased sounding in his voice when he tells this to Clint, like he is happy to remember why he hates flipping pancakes and maybe he is happy about it. Clint can’t imagine what it has been like to not remember so much about your life, about yourself, and he is sure that there is relief that it is coming back even if there is guilt and pain as well.  For now, he just steps closer to him, looks at the pancakes a little closer in the pan.

“You should be able to flip them, see the little bubbles? That means they’re ready to flip. Nat taught me that a few weeks ago. I can help you do it.”

He is pretty sure Natasha learned it from Sam but doesn’t know for sure, she just showed him how to flip them when they had breakfast that day, happy that she knew a new trick since as much as she loves breakfast food, pancakes had been a bit of a challenge.

“Ok, put the spatula under the pancake gently,  like this.”

He does it without really thinking, puts his hand around Bucky’s wrist to help guide him and the other man  tenses up just enough that Clint almost moves his hand away but Bucky relaxes just a bit and gives a small nod.  He guides him through flipping it and there is a little mess but it stays in one piece and in the pan. Bucky smiles just a bit and Clint grins back.

“You do the next ones on your own, I need coffee.”

He says this simply and moves away from Bucky, pours a cup as Bucky finishes flipping the other pancakes.  He’ll go wake Steve in another minute or so, right now he just asks a question.

“So if you hate flipping pancakes, why are you making them?”

“They were Steve’s favorite or at least I remember them being one of his favorites. I thought it would be nice to make breakfast for you since you have fed me the last few meals and I thought it would be nice to make something that Steve likes or at least used to like.”

Bucky shrugs his shoulders just a bit now, almost like he is embarrassed just a bit.  Clint just moves a little closer, gives a little smile.

“Thanks and Steve still likes pancakes.”

Bucky gives a nod and a little half smile and puts the pancakes that are ready on a plate, pours some more in the pan while Clint pours a cup of coffee for Steve.  There are a few moments of quiet and Clint is thinking he should probably go wake Steve when there is the sound  of footsteps and then Steve walking into the kitchen, face relaxing just a bit as he sees both of them there and then his eyes light up as he sees what Bucky is making.

“I love pancakes.”

He says this and Bucky just gives Steve a little head tilt as he comes closer.

“I know.”

That makes Steve smile and for a moment Clint thinks he is going to go over to Bucky but instead he comes over to Clint, gives him a quick peck on the cheek as he takes the cup of coffee with a smile. The quiet settles again, the three of them just standing there, Clint and Steve with coffee as Bucky works on the pancakes and it is kind of nice. They should probably be discussing things but Clint is planning on waiting till one of them brings it up and Bucky is focused on the pancakes right now while Steve just seems to be enjoying having Bucky in his sights and is still waking up a bit.  It doesn’t take too long till Bucky has the pancakes ready and they all sit down for breakfast again. It feels easy, just like it did before, the three of them comfortable enough with each other it seems and there is some talk and then Bucky asks a question that kind of throws Clint for a little bit of a loop.

“Do you have a spare room, Clint?”

“Are we talking in safe houses of in my apartment? Cause I have a lot of rooms if we count safehouse, even have a farm with some bedrooms, but I only have  one spare room in my apartment but it is a bit on the small size, have  an air mattress I put in there sometimes but it isn’t very comfy, my couch is though.”

Clint is babbling again just a bit and Steve gives him a look that says that he finds Clint’s chatter both ridiculous and cute and Bucky is just looking at him with something curious in his eyes and he asks another question.

“When we go to New York, can I stay with you?”

“Uh, sure.”

Clint stammers out the answer, wasn’t really expecting  Bucky to ask to stay with him and from the sort of guarded look Steve is sporting right now, he wasn’t expecting it either.

“You don’t have to stay with Clint, there are other people there you can stay with.”

Steve doesn’t say Bucky can stay with him but Clint knows that is what he means and Bucky just shrugs a little bit, isn’t really looking at either of them right now.

“I think Clint’s place is fine, unless it isn’t going to work for some reason.”

There is just a little hesitation in his voice and Clint speaks up now, reassures him.

“My place with do fine, just have to deal with Steve being over a lot, Sam and Nat too but I have plenty of blankets and we can figure out somewhere else after awhile. Sound like a plan?”

He asks directs his question to both of them and Bucky is looking at Steve now who gives a nod after just a moment.

“It does, we can head out later today, should probably give Nat and Sam a heads up about what is going on. Do you need to go anywhere to get anything?”

Steve asks now and the next few minutes are spent discussing various things, about what Bucky should grab from where he was staying. He had brought a back pack with him, had placed it in one of the rooms before he had attacked Clint just two nights ago and apparently most of what he wants to take with him is in it, hadn’t left anything important at the apartment he was staying at. He probably did that in case he needed to run when he came here and Clint understands that. He is glad that Bucky is not running anymore and he knows that Steve is as well, even if he may be a bit confused by Bucky wanting to stay with Clint and Clint knows they are going to have to talk about it and they get the chance when Bucky gets up to go to the bathroom.

“You know, he is still coming back, even if he will be at my place and not yours. Besides you spend most of your time at my place anyway, this will just give you more of an excuse to be around.”

Steve gives a little smile at Clint’s words now but it doesn’t quite look right and Clint grabs his hand, rubs little circles on his knuckles.

“I know, it is just he seems a little unsure around me and I’m not quite sure what to do about it.”

Steve says this and Clint gets it, he does, but he also gets Bucky’s side of it too and he tells Steve the only thing he can think of.

“Give him time, he’s remembering you, he’s coming back with us, just give him time, ok?”

“Ok.”

Steve says this now, places a quick kiss against Clint’s lips and he is sure that they are going to have to have another talk about this at some point.  For now, he just reassures and thinks about what they need to do before they head back home.

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It has been a long trip, a long day, and Clint is glad to be back home even if he isn’t thrilled with all the stairs there are on the way to his apartment. Both Bucky and Steve seems fine even if Clint is pretty sure  they have to be tired just like him and it dawns on him now that he has two super soldiers to try to keep up with and he groans out loud.

“You alright?”

Bucky asks and Clint has stopped on the stairs now, finds himself being stared at by both of them and he decides that he should just tell them.

“I just realized  you’re both all serumed up, if we run and I try to keep up with you both, I may die and Natasha will lecture my ghost about not taking care of myself.  I don’t know if I can deal with that.”

Bucky looks at him like he isn’t quite sure what to make of Clint but his lips are turned up just a little bit and Clint gets the feeling he is a little bit amused right now. Steve just sort of smiles at him for a moment before speaking.

“I don’t know, you do have great stamina, maybe you wouldn’t die. You could just not run with us.”

“I guess that is always an option. Let’s get up stairs.”

Clint says this now, shrugs his shoulder just a bit as they head up the rest of the way to the apartment. They are close to the door now, a few feet away and they can hear the sounds of the TV playing now and Bucky tenses up a bit and he is reaching for the knife tucked into his belt and Steve has his shield out. Clint sort of sighs but gets his bow out quickly, gets it ready.

“I’ll go in first, if anyone is going to shoot or throw something that might hurt my apartment, it might as well be me. You guys can follow me in. “

Clint whispers this and gets two matching nods and then he is going to the door, opening it quietly and then walking into the apartment, bow raised and ready to be shot if needed.

“Good to see you and your bow can rise to the occasion.”

Natasha says this from where she is sitting with Sam, Clint’s little love seat thing and Clint just sort of shakes his head a bit as he puts the bow down.

“Did you really come over here, used your key to watch my TV and make puns?”

She shakes her head a little bit as Sam gives Steve a nod in greeting.

“ No we came cause we figured we should be here when you guys showed up. Besides, I didn’t use my key, we broke in through the window, don’t want to get out of practice .”

It is Clint’s turn to sort of just shake his head as Steve asks if they really did it.

“Oh, we totally did, Natasha showed me a trick for it, think I might have to write it down, it would save me problems when I lose my keys”

“Do you lose your keys a lot?”

It is Bucky who asks and both Nat and Sam look at him for a long moment.

“It goes through phases, probably due for another one. So you’re here, are we supposed to be cool with everything now?”

“Sam.”

Steve says it simply and Sam just shrugs a bit while Nat leans just a little closer to him as she looks at Bucky and Clint just decides to let someone else speak about this and after a moment, Bucky speaks again.

“I’m sorry I broke your wings and your car. “

He says it simply, a little bit of regret in his words and Sam just stares at him for a moment, tensed up just a bit and Clint doesn’t think there will be a problem but he could be wrong but Sam’s glare is not that harsh so Clint thinks it will be ok.

“You should be. I just paid them off.”

He says this now and Natasha just rolls her eyes a little bit while bumping his shoulder and Sam sort of gives a little sheepish smile.

“Alright, so I guess technically we stole the wings but since they were stolen to save the world and everything, I didn’t get charges pressed against me, didn’t even get a fine.  The car was just paid off but at least it makes an interesting story. We haven’t officially met, kicking each other doesn’t count. Sam Wilson.”

Sam has gotten up while he said all of that, has moved closer to Bucky now and has his hand out for a shake. Bucky hesitates for just a moment before moving his knife to his metal hand and then reaches out with his flesh hand to shake Sam’s.

“Bucky Barnes.”

He says this and lets go of his hand and Natasha has stood up as well now, has come closer and holds a hand out now.

“Last time we met, I was still going by Natalia, that was a long time ago and I haven’t been her for a while. Natasha.”

Bucky takes her hand, gives it a gentle shake.

“Bucky Barnes, nice to meet you Natasha.”

“So what is the plan now that everyone has been introduced?”

Steve asks now and Clint is a bit curious as well. Natasha answers the question.

“You guys are going to put your stuff somewhere and in a bit the pizza I ordered a little while ago should show up and we are having pizza and watching movies, will focus on more important things later.”

Clint grins and moves towards her, brushes a kiss against her cheek.

“You’re one of the best ,you know?”

Natasha smirks just a bit.

“I know.”

Steve is just sort of rolling his eyes a little bit but he takes Bucky to the spare room to put his stuff there and Clint sticks his in the bedroom. It is going to be a lazy night it looks like but that may be good for all of them and so Clint will enjoy  it.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long, got distracted by other things like life. Hope people are still reading and enjoying. Comments would be great.

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It has been about three   weeks since Bucky came here, three weeks sharing his space with him and it is a bit different having him here.  Not really bad, just different and Clint knows it is going to be awhile before they can set him up with a place of his own, a while before they can make him not a fugitive so he is mostly stuck in Clint’s apartment. Maria is working on paperwork for him while Fury is  keeping them in the loop about certain things.  It reminds him a bit of the early days when Natasha joined SHIELD but a little different, there isn’t a whole organization that Bucky has to deal with, just a few people  and Clint just hopes he is getting what he needs.  Right now, Clint just focuses on pouring his coffee and figuring out what to do for breakfast when Bucky enters the kitchen.

“You drink a lot of that.”

He says this simply and Clint just shrugs before offering him his own mug.

“I like coffee. Sometimes I don’t even use a cup, just go for the pot, but there is company around right now so I’m being polite.”

“I’m guessing I’m the company. I suppose Steve is around here a lot anyway.”

Bucky says this and takes the mug from Clint and Clint just gives a little nod. It is the truth, Steve has always spent a lot of time here but the last couple of weeks he has only gone back to his place for a few hours.  Sam and Nat have been over a lot as well but not to the extent that Steve has been. It is like he is worried about Bucky being out of his sight and Clint gets it but it is maybe a bit much.  Hopefully, they can get Steve out of the apartment for a bit soon but right now, Clint just stats getting some breakfast ready. Bucky wordlessly starts helping and soon enough Steve is coming into the kitchen, brushes a quick kiss against Clint’s lips and touches Bucky on the shoulder for just a moment before the other man moves away just a bit.  He still doesn’t quite seem comfortable with touch but Steve is at least getting better at hiding his feelings when Bucky moves away.  He takes his own cup down now, gets some coffee and helps Clint with breakfast. They all end up sitting down and eating, conversation coming along alright and they start to clean up when there is a knock at the door, Clint going to answer it and he isn’t really surprised by who is there, just surprised that they knocked.

“Hey, you didn’t break in or use your key. Wanted to surprise me?”

He says this as Nat comes in, has his mail including a package in her hands and  Sam is right beside her, has a duffle bag in his hands and is dressed in running clothes.

“He thought it would be more polite today. Just wanted to check in, thought I would grab this for you, curious if your package is like mine.”

She says this and he takes it from her, goes into the kitchen and he has a good idea who it is from since Natasha got one as well apparently. The address on it is random and the name is vaguely familiar and  he starts to open it as Natasha and Sam exchange hellos with Steve and Bucky.

There is a note in it, one in code from Fury letting him know a few things and then there is something wrapped up in some brown paper, a little tag on that just says to Clint. Presents from Fury are not a common thing and can vary in how great they are. The knife he got Clint after his third mission is great and still around, the chocolates on Clint’s fifth year universe were filled with Tabasco and Clint still ate them just wasn’t that happy about it.  He unwarps the paper with equal parts excitement and dread but ends up smiling in delight.

“Hey, he’s still knitting.”

He says this as he pulls out the cap, a ridiculous shade of purple with what looks like things that should be arrows on it.  It is sort of garish but looks to be cozy and well made for the most part and he puts it on with a grin.  Everyone turns and looks at him, differing expressions that go from amused to confused with Natasha giving a tilt of her head as she speaks.

“Mine has spiders on it, red ones,  and the black it a little less eye catching than your purple.”

“The black goes well with your hair. Not sure if that purple goes with anything.”

Sam says this to Nat, gives her a little compliment while teasing Clint just a bit. Clint just grins wider.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, purple goes with everything. I pull it off.”

Clint poses a bit now, tilts his head, pouts just a bit.  Natasha lets out a soft laugh while Steve asks a question.

“Did Fury make that then?”

Clint gives a nod as Bucky stares at them all for a moment with confusion before speaking.

“Nick Fury, former head of SHIELD knitted you a hat? Why?”

He sounds generally perplexed right now and Clint just shrugs his shoulders as he gives an answer to the question.

“Nat and I started sending him knitting magazines quite a while ago and I guess he figured my head gets cold so he made me something. He can be a softy sometimes.”

Bucky looks at him for a long moment like he isn’t sure if Clint is joking or not while Steve changes the subject slightly.

“Did he send any news to go along with your hat?”

“Some. We can go over it now, I assume you got a debrief too?”

He asks Natasha and she gives a nod. The next couple of hours are low key for the most part, going over some of Fury’s info, talking about a  few other things and Sam and Nat end up leaving soon, just leaving the three of them.  They go about their day and Steve keeps Bucky in his eyeline whenever he can, something Clint notices and that he knows Bucky does too but neither of them say anything about it.  They end up watching a movie late into the evening and Steve is drooping a bit on the couch, Clint is ready for bed as well, but Bucky appears wide awake. 

“I think it is time for bed, don’t play the tv too loud and turn off the lights when you’re done. We’ll see you in the morning.”

Clint announces this as he gets up off the couch, holds a hand out for Steve to take. Steve sort of blinks up at him.

“We’re going to bed?”

He asks and looks over at Bucky who just sort of shrugs.

“I’m not tired yet but you look like you’re about to pass out, think Clint’s right and it is time for you to go to bed.”

Clint likes the back up and gives a nod to Bucky before turning his attention back to Steve.

“Bed time, he’ll be here in the morning.”

Steve gives a sort of reluctant nod before following Clint into the bedroom. They get ready and soon find themselves settled into the bed but Clint knows Steve is still glancing at the door.

“I don’t think you have to worry about him running away you know.”

Clint says this, means it as a reassurance and Steve turns to him now, gives a little nod.

“I know, I just don’t think he is sleeping much, don’t know if I’m doing enough for him. ”

There is just a hint of worry in Steve’s voice and Clint tries to ease it with soft words.

“Hey, you’re helping, he’s just been through a lot. He’ll get through it, we’ll get through it, and if you want, I can distract you a bit right now, if you can stay awake a few more minutes. “

It is maybe a cheap tactic  but Steve doesn’t seem to mind, just gives a little nod before brushing  a kiss against Clint’s lips.

“I can stay awake  bit longer. Anything in particular you have in mind?”

Steve says this now and Clint decides to show instead of just tell,  giving Steve another kiss. They haven’t done much like this in the last few weeks, too much going on, not sure how Bucky will react but Clint has missed touching being , touched and he thinks Steve has too. They end up bare soon enough, hands wrapping around each other, both trying to keep quiet and it is over quick, almost too quick but it is still good.  They soon enough find themselves laying next to each other, cleaned up and getting ready to sleep, Steve’s hand trailing over Clint’s skin and it goes to the scar on Clint’s hip, the uncovered scar and Clint shifts just a bit at the touch but not as much as he used to but more than he does when it is covered with markings .

“We haven’t drawn on it for a while, kind of miss it. I can do a design tomorrow on you if you would like.”

There hasn’t been time between looking for Bucky ,finding him, and then bringing him here and helping him recover to do the drawings. Clint has missed it, missed the private moments that have just been shared between him and Steve and occasionally Natasha.  He gives a little nod.

“We can do it in the morning, pick out one of the quick  ones again, like the fire, I like that one.”

Clint says this and Steve gives him a little smile and another quick kiss. They both fall asleep after that and the next morning when Nat and Sam come over, Steve and Clint spend some time in the bedroom, the flames returning to Clint’s hips.  It calms him down a bit, having the marker fresh on his skin and it should last a while and Clint hopes he won’t have to go without as long again.  

A couple days pass and Fury is getting ahold of them again, needs some backup.  It doesn’t need to be all of them but he needs at least three of them and has requested Steve, Natasha and Sam offering to go with him. Clint is in the bedroom with Steve as he gets a few things together, a lot of his stuff migrating here over the last few weeks and Steve is all tensed up now.

“He didn’t give us a timeline, said it may take a few days. Maybe I should see if Tony could do this one, stay here. “

Steve says this and Clint knows that he doesn’t really mean it, that he is going to go but he still helps eases his worries a bit.

“He didn’t ask for Tony, he asked for you. We’ll be ok for a few days, I promise.”

Steve gives a little no but still looks a little unsure but soon enough he is packed and ready for Natasha and Sam to come by. They go to the living room where Bucky is waiting.

“Be careful, don’t do anything too stupid.”

Bucky says this with a brief clap to Steve’s shoulder and Steve grins just a bit.

“I can’t. Leaving it all with you.”

There is a flicker of emotion that crosses Bucky’s face right now, one Clint has seen over the last few weeks, the one that shows he is remembering something and he just shakes his head a bit.

“Punk.”

The word is said with a bit of fondness and Steve smiles at it and Clint feels just a little bit awkward, like he is seeing an intimate moment but he feels like it would be more awkward if he left so he stays there.

“Jerk.”

Steve utters that word with the same sort of fondness that punk had and leans forward just a bit, leans in like he is about to brush a kiss against Bucky’s cheek. Bucky moves quickly, just steps out of the way like he isn’t sure about it and there is  a flash of hurt on Steve’s face. There is a moment of quiet that is interrupted by a knock and Clint is thankful for Nat’s timing.

“I’ll get it.”

Bucky says this, quickly moves to the door and Clint moves closer to Steve, brushes his hand against his and Steve grabs it briefly, gives it a squeeze.  Natasha and Sam now enter, Natasha speaking softly to Bucky and Sam making his way over to Steve and Clint.

“Everything ready to go?”

He asks and Steve gives a nod, brushes a quick kiss against  Clint’s lips and steps away. Natasha comes over to Clint now, brushes her own kiss against Clint’s lips and Clint can feel Bucky’s eyes watching them and it occurs to Clint that they haven’t exactly explained everything to Bucky, that the other kisses he has seen them exchange have been on the cheek or forehead, could be passed off as friendly gestures.  It wasn’t that they were hiding anything, they just hadn’t quite thought about bringing it up and they might need to have that conversation soon.  For now, he just gives runs his fingers through her hair for just a moment.

“Be careful, come back in one piece.We’ll do breakfast when you’re back, the two of us.I’ll make the fancy waffles you like. ”  
He says this, hasn’t had much time with just Nat and she smiles at him now.

“I’ll always come back in one piece if I can get waffles. “

She says it, voice teasing and Clint gives her another quick kiss. More good-byes are exchanged and soon enough, it is just Bucky and Clint alone in his living room.

“So just the two of us, how about we get pizza and watch some movies, have some sniper bonding time.”

Clint says this, doesn’t know what else to say and Bucky raise an eyebrow for moment now.

“Sniper bonding time?”

He says and Clint gives a nod.

“Hey, we’re both snipers and we can’t call it brainwashed assassins bonding because we would need Nat for that and she would get grouchy if we left her out of that club so when it is just the two of us, it is sniper bonding time. So you in?“

Bucky thinks about it for just a moment before giving a nod. They get down a pizza menu, debate what to get, and maybe the next few days won’t be too bad.

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End file.
